Gremlin Jack's snippets and one-shots
by Gremlin Jack
Summary: A place to put all my short writings, both original and fanfic, including commissioned works. Current fandoms: Youjo Senki, Naruto, Konosuba, Familiar of Zero, War of the Worlds, MCU
1. Shoulder Devil 1 (YSNaruto)

_This next one was commissioned by SpaceBattles member __Hangwind__ as a Youjo Senki/Naruto xover._

**Shoulder Devil Ch. 1**

Konohagakure law officially classified the Haruno family as civilian, but that did not mean they had never produced any shinobi for Konoha. In fact, it was not at all unusual for civilian families to send a second or third son into Konoha's shinobi forces. They rarely achieved high rank, but when the village's chief export was chakra-powered mercenaries, having one in your own family was seen as being socially responsible, patriotic, and even fashionable. Kizashi Haruno himself had been a second son who had done five years as a genin, survived the Second Shinobi War by virtue of never facing an enemy shinobi without more powerful allies, and then quietly retired and used his aura as a war veteran to marry well and set up a successful merchant business.

When birth complications left his wife unable to bear a second child, both he and his wife had assumed their darling daughter Sakura would grow up to either marry well by virtue of being his sole heiress, or perhaps do the daring thing and take over the business. Then when she was almost six, Sakura had to go and declare her intent to become a shinobi.

His wife Mebuki thought being a kunoichi was an uncivilized path for a lady of breeding. Kizashi had far more solid reasons for refusing. He remembered his own days as a shinobi well enough to know it was no life to wish on his daughter. The lunatics who specialized in combat operations rarely lived to see thirty. The more sane shinobi who spent most of their time in non-combat roles had careers that were long, tedious, and underpaid - until something like a war forced them into combat where they would then be summarily butchered by enemy combat specialists. And that's leaving out things like tailed beast attacks. Bad as the civilian casualties had been, that was nothing compared to the shinobi who had been stuck trying to fight the nine-tailed demon fox.

Unfortunately, refusal had not been an option. Their daughter had somehow made friends with the heiress to the Yamanaka Clan, and she had made her declaration right in front of said heiress. While refusing to let her attend the ninja academy was still within their rights, it would have been social suicide. When the daughter of a major shinobi clan head tells you she was looking forward to seeing your daughter at the academy, you let your daughter attend the academy. The excommunication and suicide of Sakumo Hatake was still held as an example of what awaited those who tried to swim against the cultural tide.

In privacy, his wife did everything possible to persuade their daughter away from her course. When that didn't work, she entered a state of denial where she convinced herself her daughter was simply going through a phase she would grow out of. Kizashi was more pragmatic, and focused on doing what could to maximize his daughter's chances of survival. Unfortunately, the natural of his far flung business meant he could never give his daughter the personal attention and benefit of his own experience. He did his best, encouraging her to study every theoretical aspect of shinobi work and purchasing all the necessary books in the hopes that she might be tapped for a non-combat role right out of the academy. And in his quest to give his daughter every advantage, he came across what he thought was a very useful little toy.

It was on a trip to Sunagakure that he came across the jeweled brooch in the market. It was a large semi-precious stone set in a casing composed of ridiculously intricate clockwork. It was apparently a curio obtained from the strange lands far to the west of the Great Desert. The merchant who possessed it could mold a bit of chakra, and he used this to demonstrate how the clockwork would spin and move in dizzying patterns when exposed to chakra. Kizashi immediately recognized it as an excellent tool for encouraging his daughter to work on her chakra control. As such, he did not hesitate to spend his entire profit margin for the trip on acquiring it.

* * *

Sakura Haruno loved her new toy. She did not reveal it to anyone because it felt so childish, but in private moments she loved watching the intricate movements of the clockwork. She was also a very bright child, so it took less than a month for her to figure out that the number of gears that would move depended entirely on the pattern in which she entered her chakra into the device. It became a game for her to try and enter her chakra in a way to create the most complicated movements. Then she realized that the device had gears that were not only invisible, but _didn't actually exist._ Enter chakra in just the right way, and she'd feel gears start to move in her very soul.

Sakura was hooked. What started as a game became a minor obsession. She didn't realize it, but trying to divine the device's secrets pushed both her chakra capacity and control to far beyond normal levels.

It was shortly after her ninth birthday that she found a very complex pattern that moved every single gear.

* * *

_"It has been so long. Who are you?... Ah. I see. You are the holder of my prison."_

_"Prison? You are trapped here? Who are you?"_

_"Trapped. Yes. After I died, my soul was trapped in this infernal device. As for me, I had many names while I lived. Some called me Shining Silver. Others called me The Devil. But you can call me Tanya."_

* * *

Sakura was at heart a kind girl. Her first instinct was to be sad that Tanya was trapped in the brooch, which was apparently called the Type 95, whatever that meant. Once it became clear that even if she could free Tanya it would mean her soul would simply disappear into the afterlife, she got used to having the little voice on her shoulder. Tanya, Sakura realized, was not a very nice person. But she had a wonderfully dry wit that made her laugh even as she felt guilty for all the mean things Tanya said.

Tanya was also encouraged her to study and train hard. In fact, Tanya was absolutely brutal. Once she understood what being a shinobi meant, Tanya drove Sakura to train and work to levels that Sakura thought insane. But unless Sakura wanted to leave her newfound friend behind, she had no choice but to do at least some (most) of what Tanya required of her in order to keep the peace between them.

* * *

_You really think I can help free you one day?_

_Yes. It is clear that your people have developed magical abilities - yes, yes, I know you call it chakra - far beyond what my own people ever achieved. There might even be a method to create a body that my soul can be transferred to. But I doubt it's going to be easy. Which is why you need to be the best shinobi you can be._

_So you are helping me just for that?_

_Of course. Understand Sakura, true friendship and loyalty takes years of effort to build. I had friends like that, but it came to pass only after we had gone through years of hell side by side. In time, we may become friends like that. Until then, the only trust we have is our desire for a common goal. You want to be a great shinobi. Creating a body for me will most likely require a great shinobi. Thus, our goals align for now, which is why we can trust each other._

* * *

However, Tanya acted as more than a drill instructor in her head. While she acknowledged her own powers were far less flexible than what chakra could offer, she mentioned one thing that set fire to Sakura's imagination. In her past life, Tanya could _fly._

The only shinobi that Sakura could think of who was known to fly was the current Tsuchikage. Even a month of research only turned up mention of a Land of the Sky, but their ability to fly must not have been very good, Tanya pointed out, because they were wiped out during the Second Shinobi War.

Attempts to fly using the Type 95 met with failure. After many trials, they both concluded that the jewel's power was almost entirely tied up in keeping Tanya's soul prisoner.

Still, even though it could no longer be used to fly, the Type 95 did allow Sakura enough power to perform a few useful tricks. Physical reinforcement and reflex enhancement, the basic spells from Tanya's life, and the basic abilities of any shinobi. With Tanya's help, Sakura learned how to enhance herself to match any of the clan ninja in her class.

It wasn't all fun and games though. There were some serious arguments. Particularly when around the age of 10 Sakura developed her first crush.

* * *

_"Sakura, you will go back tomorrow and apologize to Ino! And you will make it convincing! I can't believe you're throwing away a friendship like that over some pouty brat!"_

_"He is not a brat! Sasuke is the coolest most awesome guy in class! He's the last Uchiha! He's a super-talented ninja! His story is so tragic... he's like a prince from some great saga!"_

_"The only tragedy I see here is you throwing away an alliance with the heiress of a great shinobi clan in order to chase after damaged goods."_

_"SASUKE IS NOT DAMAGED GOODS!"_

That was the first time Sakura had willingly thrown away the device from herself, sending it clattering to a corner of her room. For a full week the only attention she paid it was to throw it the occasional glare. However, since she had also broken ties with her closest friend in the physical world, it wasn't long before the loneliness got too much to bear. Finally, Sakura swallowed her pride and took up the Type 95 once more.

_"Tanya? Are you there? I'm sorry for shouting at you."_

_"You were upset. I forgive you. Perhaps my own words were rather harsh."_

_"So you don't really think Sasuke is damaged goods?"_

_"Sakura, think about it for a minute. The boy's entire extended family got murdered when he was eight. It would be unbelievable if the boy wasn't mentally damaged. I lived and fought through a war, Sakura. I've seen trained adults break with only a fraction of the loss Sasuke suffered. And no amount of sympathy will change this fact."_

_"Well then it's even more important for me to get close to him! Love will help him heal from his loss!"_

A groan echoed out in Sakura's mind. _"Sakura, love isn't some kind of bandage you slap on a wound and just wait for it to make things better! Besides, my people had a saying - love is a two-way street. It doesn't matter how much you love him, it's completely useless if he doesn't love you back."_

_"Well that just makes it even more important for me to get close to him! Then he will realize his love for me!"_

_"Just like you've realized your love for Naruto?"_

_"W-WHAT?! Ewww! Why would you say that? I thought you hated Naruto!"_

_"I do. Which is why you can imagine my disappointment to see you acting like him. Trying to force your attention on poor Sasuke with no respect for his feelings..."_

_"But... but then how can I make him love me if I don't capture his attention?!"_

_"You're really hung up on this brat, aren't you?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Alright, alright, I suppose Sasuke is still rich even with his clan dead, so pursuing him isn't a total waste of time..."_

_"I don't care about that... wait does this mean you approve?"_

_"No, I don't. But I will make you a deal. You make up with Ino, and I'll help you draw Sasuke's attention."_

_"Wait, why should I make up with Ino-pig when she's my love rival!"_

_"Sakura, this is non-negotiable. Ino is the heiress to a major clan. And unlike the Uchiha, her clan is still alive. So if she decides to ever get serious about your little rivalry, she can create all sorts of problems, not just for you, but your future career, and maybe even your family. How hard would it be for a clan of information specialists to spread a few rumors wrecking your father's business reputation? Or for the head of the Yamanaka to arrange for one pink-haired genin to be assigned to permanent sewer-cleaning duty?"_

_"Ino wouldn't do something like that!"_

_"Perhaps not right now when she's too young to think of such things. But as she grows older and starts wielding actual influence? And the worst part is, even if you succeed in capturing the Uchiha's heart, he won't be able to protect you. Not without a clan of his own."_

_"So what do I do?"_

_"As the first step, you will apologize and reaffirm your friendship with Ino. It's only been a few days, it shouldn't be hard at all you retake your old position as her best friend. And you will be her best friend. You will support her in all endeavors, you will sympathize with all setbacks, you will become her closest confidante. You will be such good friends that when the day comes and you steal Sasuke Uchiha out from under her, she will be too busy being happy for you to feel jealous."_

_"Um... that doesn't sound very nice..."_

_"Why? It's not as if you'll be lying to her. You really will stop chasing the Uchiha. Hell, if she asks, you'll even help her with her own attempts on him."_

_"What? WHY?"_

_"Because, Sakura, the real trick isn't getting the Uchiha. The real trick will be surviving the backlash from all the others looking to get their hooks into him. And the way to do that is to get Sasuke to come to you."_

_"Huh?"_

_"It's simple. Chasing Sasuke will make you enemies you can't afford. But if Sasuke is the one chasing you, then your friendship with Ino will mean she will be more inclined to help rather than hinder. Particularly if you appeal to her pride by turning to her for advice when it happens. If you play it right, Ino will not only help you, she will think it's all her own idea. But for any of that to work, Sasuke will have to approach you entirely of his own volition."_

_"But how do I get him to do that? He never seems to pay attention to anyone!"_

_"The same way any business goes about marketing a product. First, you need to research your customer, and determine his utility and preferences. Then you need to customize the product according to demand."_

_"So... I need to spy on Sasuke?"_

_"What part of 'you need to stop chasing him' did you not get? No, what you need to do is study the Uchiha clan."_

_"Why the clan?"_

_"Because, Sakura, members of prestigious shinobi clans marry not for love, but politics and genetics. Sasuke was eight when the Uchiha died, which means he was old enough to have picked up on their ideals and prejudices. You want to attract the last Uchiha? You need to find out what the Uchiha usually looked for in their spouses. Most of the really juicy info will be locked away in private records, but given how famous the Uchiha were, there should be some useful stuff available in public."_

_"So... the library?"_

_"No. First Ino. Then the library. And maybe the village records offices. This is not going to be quick, Sakura. But information gathering and patience are both important skills for a shinobi to learn."_

Sakura thought about it for several minutes. Although it seemed sketchy, she realized Tanya was right. As long as she was a good friend to Ino and never actually tried to do anything behind her back, then it was perfectly fine. Turning herself into Sasuke's dream woman, she'd be doing it right in front of Ino, so was it her fault if Ino didn't notice? And Tanya had a point, even if things didn't work out with Sasuke, at least she'd still be best friends with the heiress of a major clan.

Thus decided, Sakura headed out. She had a best friend to make up with.


	2. Isekai Zero (Familiar of ZeroKonosuba)

_This is a Familiar of Zero/Konosuba cross requested by Av Latta Meguca.  
__**Summary: **__Louise dies and is reincarnated to Konosuba 'verse._

_Disclaimer: I own neither Familiar of Zero nor Konosuba._

**Isekai Zero**

The Springtime Summoning Ritual was arguably the most powerful magic any mage would cast during their tutelage at the Tristanian Academy of Magic. The word 'arguably' is applicable because the ritual was a piece of magic dating back 6,000 years to the time of the Founder Brimir, yet thanks to a combination of complexity and religious dogma, no one had ever made a study of exactly how much power the ritual utilized.

One thing was agreed upon, however, among those magical theorists willing to risk the Church of Brimir's censure to consider such matters - the ritual undoubtedly utilized more power than the mages actually put into it. After all, this ritual was used by second year students of the academy. They were either dot or line mages, with the occasional prodigious triangle mage in the mix. Yet, for all of them, the ritual did the same thing - it plucked a living creature from anywhere in the wide world and deposited them in front of the mage, ready to be bound as their Familiar. Teleportation across such distance, if possible at all, would normally fall firmly in the square mage category, yet the Ritual was so reliable any mage could (and did) perform it.

However, this year was different. This year among the participating students was one Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere. A mage who, in her one and a half years at the academy, had earned herself the nickname of 'Zero' due to her ability to botch any spell no matter how simple. However - as the later investigation would note - Louise Valliere's failures were not the ordinary fizzles of a weak or incompetent mage. No, any spell cast by Louise would instead destabilize in the most explosive fashion possible. The investigative committee then went on to ask why in Brimir's name the Academy staff - supposedly among the most learned mages in Tristain - would permit a student known for explosively destabilizing her spells to perform something as powerful and poorly understood as the Springtime Summoning Ritual.

The only defense the academy staff could offer was that Louise's magic had always protected her from her own explosions. Her fellow students were more at risk, which is why the presiding faculty, Professor Jean Colbert, had raised a shield between the spell and all the other students, an action that undoubtedly prevented more injuries.

The investigators were unimpressed. One of them pointed out with great acidity that if Colbert had shown the same consideration to poor Louise, then the piece of stone shrapnel accelerated to enormous velocity by the explosion might not have shredded her throat, leaving her to bleed out in front of her entire class.

Louise's death would lead to repercussions throughout Tristain and beyond. The furious investigation launched by Princess Henrietta into the death of her childhood friend, supported by Louise's murderously grieving mother Karin, would eventually turn Tristain upside down, revealing all sorts of conspiracies and traitors and derailing long-running plots left and right.

None of that mattered to Louise though. The pink-haired sixteen-year-old was far more concerned by the fact that instead of facing the judgement of Brimir (who, all records agreed, had definitely been a man), she was looking at a blue-haired daringly dressed teenage girl with an envious figure, who nonetheless radiated an aura that could only be classified as 'divine'.

The blue-haired girl in the dress short enough to give a Zerbst second thoughts continued for a long moment to stare down at Louise from her throne. By this time the normally short-tempered noble would have broken the silence, but Louise unfortunately retained a very clear memory of her final moments, including the feel of her lifeblood pumping out between her fingers as she futilely tried to cover the ragged tear in her neck.

Any attempt to deny or repress her own memories was interrupted when the blue-haired girl with the faintly glowing aura spoke, "Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere, welcome to the afterlife. Your life was short, but nonetheless, you are dead."

"Ah... yes." Louise touched her now intact throat and swallowed hard. "Are... are you one of Brimir's angels?"

The girl raised a cool eyebrow, then flipped open a book lying next to her. "Ah, I see. You come from one of those fanatical places that think the god they worship is the be all and end all of divinity. How dreadfully provincial. Still, I suppose that means I can forgive your mistake. So you know who you are addressing, I am Aqua. Goddess of Water, and also the goddess in charge of greeting those who die an early death while fulfilling certain other criteria."

"But... but I've never heard of you! And the Church of Brimir says Brimir is the only God and..."

"Oh, please, spare me. Your Brimir is only worshipped in a handful of countries on one single continent, comprising less than 15% of your world's population. He doesn't even have a presence on any other world. As gods go, he's strictly local. Still, local god or no, it is thanks to his intercession that you stand before me today."

"W-what...?"

"Yes. Whatever his faults, Brimir always did have a soft spot for you Void mages. Something about being his spiritual successors."

"W-wait! I'm a Void mage?!"

Aqua paused to blink at Louise. "You didn't know...?" There was a moment when Aqua rapidly flipped through several pages, before breaking out into a peal of laughter. "You didn't know! That's amazing! No wonder you managed to kill yourself with your own spell! It says here you were attending a magic school... Didn't any of your teachers warn you that a Void mage should only ever try to cast Void-aligned spells? It says here the last spell you cast, the Springtime Summoning Ritual - you actually tried to cast it using every single element other than Void! What in Heaven's name were you thinking?"

Louise could only stare aghast. Even her reflexive anger at being mocked couldn't compete with the confusion and betrayal surging through her soul. "I'm a void mage? But... only the Founder was a void mage. There has been no void mages born in 6,000 years..."

Aqua's mirth cut off. Another quick consult with the book later, she was shaking her head. "Well, now I actually feel sorry for you. It seems your teachers really did tell you that. What arrant nonsense! There has been at least one void mage born every generation to your world."

"WHAT?"

"It's true. In fact, there are three other void mages alive right now in your continent of Halkegenia, and all of them are practicing mages. Since none of them have managed to blow themselves up, I can only assume they had far more competent teachers."

Louise was silent for a long moment. Then she whispered, "All of them... Mother... Eleanor... the Professors... all my tutors... all of them said it must be my fault. That something's wrong with my magic. That I'm not working hard enough, that I'm not paying enough attention or using enough willpower. Not one of them ever suggested I try something other than the usual four elements."

Aqua gave a sigh. "Wow, you really got screwed. I guess that's why Brimir went out of his way to ask for a second chance. Normally he ignores anything to do with the Devil King..."

"Second chance?" Louise perked up. "Devil King?"

"Ah, I guess we should come to the real reason you stand in front of me. Normally you would have already gone on to whatever afterlife was appropriate for the religion you followed, but your god Brimir asked you be given this chance. The chance to be a hero, to perform a great deed that will earn you the gratitude of not just Brimir, but the great Heavens itself! You see, there is a world of great wonder and magic, which is unfortunately under siege by the vile abomination known as the Devil King! An enemy of all gods, an opponent of all that is right and good in the Universe! And you, Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere, have the chance! The chance of being transported to this world with your own body and all your memories intact - so that you may join the battle against ultimate evil, and bring an end to Devil King once and for all! This is a mission entrusted to you by Brimir himself! Do you accept?"

Louise didn't even have to think twice about it. Validation was the one thing she had been seeking all her life. To be entrusted a mission by the Founder was a dream come true! However, she was also at heart an honest girl. Thus she was forced to reply, "I would love to! But... what about my magic? I'm a Void mage, but I know nothing about casting Void spells!"

"That's easily solved! As part of our agreement, you will be provided either an artifact of immense power, or a unique skill of great usefulness! Want a wand capable of flawlessly casting Void magic? We have that! Want instant knowledge of every spell a Void mage can cast? We have that too!" Aqua waved her hand, and a deluge of pamphlets descended on Louise. "Here are your choices. Pick one, and let's go!"

Louise frantically started going through her options. Her calm was not at all helped by the impatient noises the goddess was making. As Aqua had promised, she did in fact come across the option to be reborn with immediate perfect knowledge of any one type of magic. She almost accepted it then and there, when another skill caught her eye.

_**Perfect Magical Control**__: You have flawless control over your own magic. You can learn any magical skill or spell regardless of class or race restriction as long as you see it demonstrated and have sufficient skill points to purchase it. Any spell you cast will never fail or backfire as long as you have sufficient mana and magic power._

Louise didn't know what a 'skill point' was or what the difference was between mana and magic power. All she knew was that this skill promised she would never blow herself up again.

Aqua seemed surprised at her choice, but declined to comment. Instead, she said, "Very well, you have made you choice! No go forth, O Chosen Hero, and deliver the world from the clutches of the Devil King! And should you succeed in your quest, not only will you have Heaven's gratitude, but one unlimited wish to be spent on anything your heart desires!" As her speech ended, Louise found herself engulfed in a pillar of light, which quickly turned into a tunnel that sent her hurtling through the space between worlds.

* * *

Louise quickly found that the quest to defeat the Devil King was a lot more complicated than expected. The world she was in was an extremely strange place where power was held not just by mages, but my mundane warriors as well. That the strength of a person was not measured by magical skill, but by the strange numbers expressed by the Adventurer Card called stat points and levels. Apparently, as a newcomer she started off as level one, which she felt was fair.

What made her nearly tear her hair out though, was that the only combat skill she supposedly knew was called 'Explosion'! Even the Axel City Adventurer's Guild receptionist cooing over how she already knew such an 'Advanced Spell' couldn't blunt the pain of this constant reminder of her own demise. She also had a few other skills like 'Calligraphy' and 'Dancing' which came from her noble upbringing but would be of little use in a fight.

Her stats were also decent - subpar physical abilities, but excellent intelligence, and superb mana and magic power. Apparently intelligence controlled (among other things) the ease with which one learned new spells, magic power dictated how much strength she could put in a single spell, and mana represented her spellcasting stamina. With all three well above the norm, she immediately picked up the Arch Wizard class. This class gave her an enormous boost to arcane magic, which was nice. But Louise did not plan to limit herself just to the arcane. Thanks to her Perfect Control, she had access to every type of magic out there, and after a lifetime of struggling with the simplest cantrip, Louise was determined to learn every spell in existence, and eventually crush the Devil King with her might!

This plan was far easier said than done. Axel was a town that had long since been cleared of monsters, leaving nothing more than menial labor for low level adventurers. No spellcaster was willing to teach her their spells without payment. But Louise persevered. Even if it meant demeaning herself to performing tasks unworthy of a noble, she reminded herself she was on a mission from Brimir himself. She worked herself to the bone during the day gathering money for her magical education and new magic wand. And at night she sent her prayers not just to Brimir, but to Aqua, that cold but just deity that had helped her see the truth of the universe.

At the end of three months, she had achieved much. She had a place to stay, a magic wand with decent bonuses, she had a variety of spells at every level, both Arcane and Divine, and even though she didn't have a fixed party she had developed a reputation in Axel as a reliable wizard that could work in almost any group. Louise felt she was well on track to fulfilling her mission, and she was finally getting the respect she craved. Life was good.

And then, one fine day on the outskirts of Axel, on her way back from an herb-gathering mission, she came across a boy around her age and two women escorting a horse drawn cart holding a sturdy steel cage. And sitting inside that cage, dead eyes staring at the floor, was her goddess Aqua.

Louise had no idea how one could trap a goddess, but she knew what she had to do. Her initial flurry of ice magic immediately scattered two of her enemies, and a quick Paralyze dropped the swordswoman who stood her ground. "Goddess Aqua! Hold on, I will break that cage in an instant!"

"Ah...?" Louise felt her heart twist at the cold dead stare from the goddess. Just what had these vile people done to her?! There was no recognition from the blue-haired being, instead a soft voice that said, "Please go away. I like this cage. I want to stay in here. It's nice and safe in here."

"What are you saying? What did they do to you? Just wait, I'll have you out of there in an instant!"

"NO!" The sudden shriek froze Louise in place. "No! No more adventure! No more alligators! I want to go home! I want to drink a nice bottle of wine and forget this day ever happened! I don't want to leave this cage! Waaahhh!" Then the goddess buried her face in her hands and started bawling like a child.

"Ah, now you've done it," said a bored voice from behind Louise. Turning around, she saw the brown haired youth. He had a sword on his hip, but was yet to draw it. "Now she'll give us all a headache crying all day. Still, I'm surprised Aqua has such a devoted follower."

"Indeed. How unexpected." This came from what was either a mature child or an underdeveloped young woman, holding a mage's staff.

"Wait... what is going on? How is the goddess here? And who are you?"

"I'm Kazuma," replied the boy. "This chibi is Megumin. The one you paralyzed is Darkness, and you already know Aqua. We are an adventuring party. And if you want the details, you might as well accompany us back to town."

Along the way, the story came out. Apparently, Aqua had come to this world and couldn't leave until the death of the Devil King, though Kazuma was a bit vague on exactly how that happened. The reason she was in the cage was because she had decided to purify a corrupted lake single-handed, and the cage was there to protect her from the demonic alligators. Unfortunately, the experience was so terrifying that Aqua was now reluctant to leave the cage.

If Kazuma had just stopped there, Louise would have been satisfied. Instead he kept on going, outlining how the only reason they tried this plan was because Aqua wanted to do the whole quest herself so she wouldn't have to share the reward with the rest of the party. This was followed by a long list of Aqua's wasteful habits that she needed the money for. Then Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness all started sharing anecdotes on all the other times Aqua did stupid things that ended up endangering everyone and traumatizing her.

Aqua's party members were so busy coming up with a list of all the times Aqua had managed inflict suffering on herself, they never even noticed when they left their new acquaintance behind.

"Is... is this it?" mumbled Louise to herself. She didn't want to believe it, but Kazuma and the others spoke with the ring of truth, and the few responses Aqua had made from within her cage had only served to support their statements. "This is the goddess I so looked up to? This is the person Brimir entrusted my afterlife to? Even Kirche would be more responsible!"

Louise wandered unseeing off the road, mumbling to herself. "This is it then. I thought I was finally being recognized and given a chance. But Brimir doesn't care, or he wouldn't have handed me to someone like her. When she told me all those things about myself, was any of it real? Am I really a chosen Hero, or were they just taking pity on me? Even this wonderful skill, was it given to me out of pity? Poor little Louise, blew herself up, needs literal divine intervention just to cast a spell! Did either of them ever believe I could actually kill the Devil King? The ultimate joke, even in the afterlife I am just a Zero..."

So lost in her woe, Louise didn't realize where she was until a soft young voice called out to her. Turning, Louise saw a young girl in the shade of a tree. Even though the girl seemed frail and injured, she seemed far more concerned for Louise' state. As Louise approached her, a sense of serenity touched her distraught self. Sitting down, she found herself pouring her life story out to the strange girl.

As she spoke, though, Louis found her despair being replaced by a simmering rage. All her life unto her death, she had been belittled and embarrassed by circumstances beyond her control. Even in her afterlife she discovers the very god she had placed her faith in treated her like a joke, leaving her fate in the hands of a second, even stupider Kirche. She had been working herself to the bone for months, and for what?

"It is very sad," sympathized the girl. "But you know, misery is halved when it is shared. You could stay with me here. I will never ask anything of you, and there is even good fruit to eat if you get hungry." So saying, she plucked a sweet-smelling fruit from the tree and offered it to Louise.

Louise stared at the fruit for a long moment, then gave out a broken, bitter laugh. "You know, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Why should I work myself into the ground for an ungrateful Heaven! Why should I follow the tenets of a Church that would have declared my existence heretical! If they keep treating me like a Zero, then zero is exactly what they will get from me! From now one, I will do exactly what I want, and nothing else!"

"Wonderful! So you will stay with me?"

"Unfortunately..." Louise opened her hand, letting the fruit spill to the ground. "To really be able to do whatever I want, I need power. To get power, I need levels, and money. And you can give me both."

The tranquility girl lived up to its reputation for intelligence. Instantly, tentacle-like roots unfurled from the tree, trying to wrap and crush Louise. The pink-haired mage waited a moment - just long enough for the tree to completely surround her. Then she cast a spell.

Perfect Magical Control. Over the months, Louise had learned it didn't just mean the ability to learn and cast any spell. It meant perfect accuracy with a blade of wind. It meant exact control over the voltage and spread of a lightning spell. Now, Louise cast a spell centered on herself, but shaped perfectly to leave her unharmed while striking every bit of the plant monster she could see. It was the second Advanced Magic she had learned in this world.

_**"INFERNO!"**_


	3. Amor Enim Vult omake

_Disclaimer: I don't own Youjo Senki_

_This is an omake for Chapter 17 of the absolutely brilliant Amor Enim Vult, over on AO3. For those who haven't read it,Visha and Tanya attended a ball, Tanya got jealous and drunk due to all the guys dancing with Visha, and Tanya ended up dragging Visha into an excellent public performance of the Argentinian Tango in order to show the others how it's done._

_This omake is the aftermath._

**Amor Enim Vult Ch. 17 Omake**

It was with mixed feelings that I permitted Countess Irene von Engler into my office. While the woman was successful, charming, and intelligent, she was also a witness to the fool I'd made of myself during the Graduation Ball. And, much to my chagrin, it was that very ball she brought up once she was seated.

"It was a remarkable performance," she enthused.

"You don't say." I struggled not to grit my teeth. Did she come just to insult me?

"Yes, I do believe that was the finest example of the Argentine Tango I'd ever seen performed in my life."

"Oh!... You're talking about my dance with Lieutenant Serebreyakov?"

"Well of course, my dear. What did you think I was talking about?"

I didn't buy her guileless look for a second. There was a definite twinkle of amusement in her eye that told me she knew I'd been three sheets to the wind. "Well, that's very kind of you to say so, but I doubt you came all the way here to pay me a compliment."

"Indeed. I would like your permission to show the recordings. A performance like that needs to be celebrated!"

"Recordings?" I asked, internally horrified.

"You were in a hall full of mages, my dear. The performance was recorded from multiple angles. I had my people convert the spells to film, and edit it all into one twelve-minute picture. And even if I do say so myself, it came out amazingly well! I can assure you, many people would be interested."

Oh, I'm sure people would be interested all right. While I might not be as famous as I was during the war, I was still sufficiently well known that people would undoubtedly pay money to watch me make a fool of myself on the dance floor.

As I tried to find a polite way to refuse, the Countess picked up on my hesitation and said, "Don't worry, I've left out any hints of your fainting spell afterward. There's no need to publicize your illness."

Ah. My 'illness'. Weiss might have publicly put down my passing out to anemia, but only an idiot would believe that. It seemed if I didn't want recordings of myself dead drunk going public, I needed to permit the Countess to release her little dance comedy.

With enormous reluctance, I gave written permission to distribute the video. That's when the Countess put another contract in front of me.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Royalties, of course. I was thinking 10% of sales each for you and Lieutenant Serebreyakov, but if you want more we can negotiate."

Well, at least I wasn't doing this for nothing. And as I considered it, this was an opportunity to start apologizing to Visha for ruining her evening. "Fifteen percent. But I would like it all to be paid out to the Lieutenant."

"Done. But why to her, if you don't mind my asking."

"Her entire evening was spoiled because of my... illness. I have to make amends somehow. Besides, she was the one who invited me in the first place, without her none of this would have happened."

The Countess was now giving me a sympathetic look. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure the lieutenant had a wonderful time, however brief."

"Nonetheless."

"As you wish. Oh, by the way, I will be having a private showing of the film this Saturday. Would you and the Lieutenant like to attend?"

"No thank you. I have plans for this Saturday."

And I did have plans. Amazingly, Visha had agreed to give me a chance to apologize by taking her out on the town. This time, everything was going to be perfect. The last thing I needed was to spoil it with a reminder of my atrocious behavior. Seeing the Countess out, I turned my attention to planning my apology to Visha.

* * *

"And the Colonel already said yes?"

At the confirmation, Visha sighed. "Well, in that case, I suppose I don't mind you showing the film."

"Thank you, my dear," beamed Countess Engler. "It really was a sublime performance. And might I say, congratulations on getting a second date?"

"Oh! How did you know?" asked Visha, her face going red.

"The Colonel might have mentioned having plans for Saturday."

"Ah, yes. Hopefully this time nothing will go wrong."

"Quite. Incidentally, 10% is fine for you?"

"Oh yes. But please, pay it all to the Colonel. After all, she was the one who led the whole dance, I barely kept up!"

Visha got the strange feeling the Countess was trying not to laugh, but the woman didn't say anything, instead agreeing to her terms and taking her leave.

* * *

It had been an excellent evening so far. I'd gotten Visha her favorite foods at one of Berun's best eateries, we'd enjoyed a delightful woke in the city's best gardens, and now that the sun was setting, we were trying to decide between going dancing or the movies.

Talking pictures were a recent development that had become all the rage, and even though Visha loved to dance she admitted some curiosity about this new art form. I replied that since neither of us had a curfew, there was no reason we couldn't go to the pictures first before heading to a night club afterward.

Happy with this plan, we made our way to the nearest cinema, only to pause in shock. An enormous line extended from the hall, and a 4-foot tall poster outside showed what was undoubtedly a photograph of me and Visha dancing at the ball, titled horrifically "The Argent and Her Wing".

Visha gave a faint whimper before saying, "When the Countess said she wanted to show it, I didn't expect something like this."

I could only nod numbly in agreement. "Isn't this Berun's largest cinema?"

"Yes," came the weak response. "...It looks sold out."

"Yes, and if I'm reading the poster right, this is the fifth of ten showings scheduled today."

By this time, some of the people in line had spotted us, and waves, cheers, and whistles were being directed at us. All we could do was smile and wave as we quickly vacated the area.

Once we were out of sight of our... fans?... Visha turned a furiously blushing face to me and said, "Colonel, I changed my mind. I don't feel like going out anymore. My apartment is nearby, would you like to come in and have a cup of coffee, and maybe listen to the radio?"

"That sounds wonderful, Visha. Lead on!"

Internally though, all I could do was call myself names for once more inadvertently spoiling Visha's evening. If she forgave me for this, I swore, next time I would blow all my previous efforts out of the water, even if I had to conscript the entire Ministry of Culture into running interference!


	4. The Martian Crusade

_This Youjo Senki/ War of the Worlds crossover was commissioned by my patron Mackenzie Buckle._

_Summary: The Martians have their own god who is pissed at Being X, and drives his believers to invade earth. Naturally, fueled by their own divine blessings, these Martians are not going to keel over to virus and bacteria. No, making them die is unfortunately Major Degurechaff's job._

_Disclaimer: I own neither War of the Worlds nor Youjo Senki_

**The Martian Crusade**

The Imperial High Command thought Operation Revolving Door was one of the most significant military achievements in the long history of warfare. And to be fair, they were right. With the elite 203rd Mage Battalion destroying the enemy communications, the Francois Republics' forces were disorganized and demoralized, ideal for the largest recorded encirclement in the history of war. Over half a million Francois troops were trapped, and the lack of centralized command meant a quarter of them died before someone of sufficient seniority could get out the order to surrender. Comparisons were already being made to Hannibal's historic victory at Cannae. Unfortunately for the Empire's generals, even as the fires of war raged across the Lowlands of Europe, a different fire lit the night sky, a fire that would burn away the world as they knew it.

It started with a truly magnificent meteor shower. Anyone who was not involved in a life or death struggle paused to admire the hundreds of glowing embers streaking across the sky. Then, however, came the reports. Instead of burning up in the atmosphere, all of those meteors seemed to have made landfall throughout the world. Over the course of a week, strikes were confirmed throughout Asia, Africa, and both Americas. In fact, the only continent that seemed to have been spared was Europe.

This suited the Empire's leaders just fine. They were focused on mopping up the remaining Francois forces and forcing a peace treaty, and had little thought to spare for astronomical curiosities. It was only weeks after what would later come to be known as the Night of Flames that they received the first hints that the world had irrevocably changed.

* * *

"And where do they suggest these massive armored units suddenly came from? The moon?"

I knew I shouldn't take quite such a sarcastic tone with someone as senior as General Zettour. Still, even he had to be aware just how ridiculous this all sounded. According to the message from our Ildoan allies, an unknown army had overrun one of their garrisons in Libya. The African colony was bordered on all sides by French and Albish territory, so perhaps an invasion was not too surprising. What was absurd was the Ildoans' claim that this army had originated not from French Algeria or Aegyptus, but from within the Libyan hinterland. The message also mentioned how the direction of the invaders coincided with the direction of the some of the meteor impacts that had scattered across the world a few weeks prior. The Ildoans were clearly unwilling to come out and actually say the words 'alien invasion', but the implications were clear.

"I'm afraid details are rather confused. Still, the accompanying photos are quite disturbing."

I glanced at the grainy pictures showing what looked like a massive metal tripod advancing on a fort. Proportions were hard to tell, but it looked to be almost a hundred feet tall. The actual crew and engine compartment, if that's what it was, looked around twenty feet across and was supported by a trio of metal legs. Emerging from the central module were a pair of what I could only call tentacles.

It was certainly nothing like anything I'd seen on this world, but I wasn't willing to discount a hoax. "Are they sure these aren't just some fake photos being distributed by the attackers to hide their true identities? It would be just like the Albish to launch a raid while trying to confuse us with disinformation."

"That is what you're being sent to find out. Your battalion is to go on a reconnaissance in force. You will cross the Alps to Genoa, where you will rest before flying across to Tripolis. Once there, you will scout out this attacking force and determine the threat they pose to our ally's African holdings. If they seem to be advancing, you will delay them while we prepare reinforcements."

I carefully hid my grimace. Now that the war with the Francois was almost wrapped up, the last thing I wanted was to get caught up in a new conflict in the Sahara desert. "General, that may be ill-advised. Until the peace treaty is signed, the Francois may still try something desperate. I feel it would be a mistake to remove a force as powerful as the 203rd from the theater of operations until the war is properly finished. In fact, this whole attack may be nothing but an attempt to make us divert valuable forces from Europe."

"Perhaps so, Major. However, it is a fact that the Ildoans have lost contact with every force in this enemy's path. If it is a distraction, it is one strong enough to genuinely threaten their control of the colony."

"Don't the Ildoans have mages of their own?"

Zettour chuckled. "I asked the same thing. Apparently, those of their mages currently not guarding vital points like their capital are all distributed in bits and pieces all across their Navy. It will take far too long for them to concentrate a useful force without completely disrupting their operations." Then, his eyes narrowed a bit. "Besides, we have been hearing disturbing rumors about some of these meteor sites. If there is something strange happening there, we need to know."

I mentally scoffed. Even in the 21st century comets and meteors were accompanied by doomsday prophecies, UFO sightings, and other such irrationalities. Dozens of actual meteor strikes? I suppose it's only because none of them happened in Europe that we weren't already inundated with panicked rumors. But whatever my opinion of this wild goose chase, I suppose something was attacking our allies, and I had my orders. It was most likely a large and fast raiding force of some kind, but I was confident they wouldn't be fast enough to evade the 203rd.

* * *

Four days later my battalion was flying across the Libyan desert, heading for the last location the Ildoans had contact with the invaders. We were perhaps fifteen minutes from our destination when Becker, our radio operator, called out, "Major, I'm receiving a transmission in the clear on multiple channels. It's a mayday! From Fort 260! They say they are under attack by giant mechanized units!"

"Let them know reinforcements are on their way!" I replied immediately. "Everyone, follow that signal!"

Twelve minutes of high speed flight and slight course change brought us within visual range of the battle. "Major... is that real?" squeaked my adjutant Lieutenant Serebryakov as she looked through a magnification spell.

I could forgive Visha her incredulity, I had a hard time believing it myself. Four ridiculously tall tripods, eighty feet if they were an inch, were darting around the artillery fire from the fort at speeds something that big had no business moving. Even as I watched, the 'eye' on the central module of one of the tripods unleashed a bright white beam that left the earthen fort's walls glowing red with heat.

My eyes narrowed as a machine-gun sent a stream of tracers at the tripod, only for them to bounce off a barrier before they reached the enemy. Magic would certainly explain how anyone got such unwieldy devices to work. "Keep an eye out, I'm going to scan," I called.

An active scanning spell was useful for detecting and studying magic, but was almost never used in the field. First, because any enemy you're close enough to scan, you're close enough to shoot at. Second, using the spell lights you up like a beacon to passive detectors and mage senses. In this case, though, I felt I needed to take the risk to try and understand exactly what I was seeing.

Sure enough, the devices had a very strong magic signature, but they seemed to be focused on what looked like a defensive shell and on reinforcing their own structure, probably how they moved so fast. The eyes from which they had shot that heat ray didn't show up on my scan though. That was disturbing, it meant someone had the technology to create laser weapons and we were only hearing about it now.

As soon as my scanning spell had washed over them, all the machines immediately perked up and turned to face us. That told me these tripods didn't have the kind of onboard passive magic detection that modern warships carried. To be fair, the tripods were too small to mount such an installation, but they had already shown multiple examples of technology beyond what I thought was state of the art, so I was not willing to take anything for granted. I very much doubted the Francois were behind this, but both the Albish and the Americans might have been developing this in secret. If they had only small numbers, then that would explain them deploying in Africa as a sort of test run.

By this time my battalion had closed to within 2000 meters of the enemy forces. Magnification spells showed six large tracked vehicles of no known design but made of the same gleaming alloy as the tripods approaching the fort. Clearly, this was the ground force complement backing up the walkers.

"This is Fairy 01," I called over the battalion channel. "Enemy is armed with energy weapons, tune your shields for anti-heat configuration. Company 1 will take the two walkers to the left. Company 2 will take the two to the right, Company 3 will take out the other enemy forces. Company 4 is reserve. Be careful, enemy has magical defenses and reinforcement, regular bullets likely ineffective. Use explosive or piercing spells and see what works best. Try to take prisoners, we need to find out who is responsible. Good hunting. Over."

By this time, the nearest tripod's eye had obtained a glow. Without any need for warning, my battalion scattered. The machine tried it's best to swat us with the energy beam, but the few glancing hits failed to transfer enough heat to overcome my troops' defenses. Although judging by the reports, some of us would be getting a nice tan before this was over.

My company closed in on our chosen targets. They both fired energy beams as we closed but with us maneuvering in midair all it did was warm us up. The beams were powerful enough to cook a mage, but only if he was foolish enough to stand still. Then the range dropped to 1000 meters, and it was our turn.

"The rest of you take the other one. The first one's mine!" I cheerfully informed my company. There was some faint grumbling as we split, and I lined up a shot on my prey. I didn't know how tough their shields were, so I decided to take no chances.

"O Lord in Heaven above. Give me the strength to smite these sinners in your name. Amen!"

The familiar rush of power filled me, and I immediately channeled it all into a homing explosive spell. The enemy clearly sensed the massive buildup of magic, as its movements grew frantic. To no avail. One second later, the spell detonated against the enemy's shield. Out of the smoke, the walker could be seen tumbling head over heels. Its shield had shattered, and its central compartment was badly warped and deformed. One of its tentacles and two of its limbs snapped off before it finally came to rest.

Before I could admire my handiwork any further, a panicked shout came over the comms. "Major! The others - "

I reacted immediately, twisting away from my current vector. A blast of heat passed right through where I would have been. Looking around, I saw the other three walkers had all abandoned their respective fights, and were barreling towards me with reckless abandon. Even the way they waved their tentacles screamed anger to my instincts. The rest of my battalion tried to intercept, but those waving tentacles starting hurling canisters into the air that exploded into thick black smoke.

"Gas attack!" I heard Weiss warn over the comms. But activating our oxygen spells didn't change the fact that most of my battalion no longer had line of sight on the trio of walkers, all of which continued to charge towards me.

Luckily for me, I was an aerial mage. A rapid change in thrust had me rocketing up into the air, weaving in and out of furious laser blasts and smoke canisters. So focused on me were my enemies, that none of them even noticed when the rest of the battalion cleared the smokescreen. Ten seconds and a furious barrage of explosive spells later, all three tripods were smoking wrecks.

"Everyone, keep your oxygen spells up, no telling how long this black stuff lingers! Company 2 and 3, take out those ground units! Company 4, provide aid to the fort! Company 1 on me, we're on overwatch!"

Taking a height of 2000 meters, I oversaw the mopping up. Company 4 investigated the fort and reported what we had already suspected - the black smoke was indeed a chemical weapon of some kind. Almost half the garrison was dead or incapacitated. Thankfully, skin absorption did not seem as dangerous as breathing in the stuff, since the ones who managed to get their oxygen masks on had only developed some painful rashes on exposed skin.

Companies 2 and 3 made short work of the vehicles, which also had mage shells but not nearly as strong as the tripods'. However, within them was another nasty surprise. Spilling out of them like some kind of horrific infestation were swarms of cat-sized spider-like robots armed with blades and smaller lasers. The small lasers were too weak to seriously threaten our shields, though. My troops quickly learned to bombard any concentrations, and to use mage blades to chop individuals to bits. The machines showed no sense of self-preservation, which was good. If they had scattered instead of attacking, tracking them all down would have been impossible.

Even so, I was getting more and more concerned. The tripods and lasers might be feasible using present day technology and magic. Chemical warfare was nothing new to this world. But I would swear no one on the planet was anywhere close to developing autonomous fighting machines. Could this be another 'miracle' of technology provided by the execrable Being X, much like my own Type 95? If these were fanatics armed by that so-called deity, it would certainly explain their sudden obsession with fighting me.

Determined to solve the mystery, I flew down towards the most intact tripod. This one had all of its limbs and tentacles shattered, but the central compartment was still intact. I had just gotten close enough to spot the hatch when it flew open, and a horrible grey _thing_ leaped out at me.

It was a tentacle monster. There were no two ways of describing it. The thing looked like a man-sized landbound octopus, only with way more appendages. I reflexively cut loose a burst of automatic fire at it. The creature was knocked back, but I was suddenly aware that instead of killing it, the bullets had bounced off a thin magical aura. An aura with a very distinctive golden hue. A shade of color I'd last seen on myself, less than ten minutes ago, when I'd prayed to Being X to use the Type 95.

_That bastard! That unutterable, insufferable bastard!_ Not content with starting a world war just to persecute me, Being X now had to import actual aliens to carry on his vendetta!

"Explosive spells!" I ordered, even as I jetted back from the creature. Amazingly, it survived an entire salvo of explosives, even though it lost half its limbs. Writhing and bleeding and screeching, its remaining tentacles continued to carve deep grooves into the ground even as their golden glow faded.

Getting as close as I dared, I lined up my own explosive spell with its brain-case. _So much for your alien from outer space, Being X!_

I pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. In fact, nothing was happening at all. The whole world was frozen around me, a situation I was painfully familiar with. "**Being X**! Come to see me finish off your latest pawn?!" I snarled.

_**"Such arrogance, to think the universe revolves around you. No, I had nothing to do with the presence of these heathen creatures."**_

"Don't give me that! I know your blessing when I see it! That thing was one of yours!"

_**"While you are correct in that the creature was divinely blessed, that blessing was not from mine hand. Instead, in its last moments, it prayed to its own god. And unlike you, its prayers were sincere, and it's god answered. Fortunately, you, my little lost lamb, were here to show the heathen its error in reposing its faith in such an inferior being."**_

"Creatures worshiping a different god from a different world... but why the hell are they attacking us?! Nothing like this happened in my previous world!"

_**"It is here because of jealousy, that greatest of sins. A weaker being jealous of my majesty has sent forth it's servants to ruin my works."**_

"I don't believe it! So this mess is your fault after all! You pissed off some other wannabe god and now its cultists are here on a fucking crusade!"

_**"I can see you are as incorrigible as ever. But know this, these creatures have no place in my creation. So, by all means, you use the power I have blessed you with to crush them mercilessly! Go forth, and use my light to bring destruction to these heathens, and let the cosmos know my glory!"**_

That fucking bastard's put me in the middle of an interplanetary religious war! _**"Damn. You. Being. X!"**_

I was still screaming when time started moving again and a storm of explosive bullets tore apart the alien invader.


	5. A Familiar Disaster (FoZKonosuba)

_A\N: This chapter commissioned by my patron Av Latta Meguca _

_Disclaimer: I own neither Konosuba nor Familiar of Zero_

**A Familiar Disaster**

Megumin was heading out of Axel after yet another fruitless day of trying to find a Party that would take her. Not that she was discouraged! She was the great Arch Wizard of Explosions! Within her veins flowed the power of the Crimson Demons! She was certain that out there she would one day find someone who appreciated and understood Explosion magic the same way she did! And in the meantime, she had her daily spellcasting practice to look forward to. Why even now, she could feel the power roiling in her veins, threatening to burst out and leave her body a lifeless cinder if she did not cast her spell and calm her burning soul!

Finding herself an empty clearing, the great Megumin of the Crimson Demons channeled her infinite power through her mighty magician's staff and gave voice to the song in her heart! **"From the darkest depths of loneliness, burst forth the burning passion! The passion which consumes all, leaving naught but ash! **_**Explosion!**_**"**

Some nearby adventurers heard the cataclysmic blast that turned an otherwise serviceable field into a glowing crater, but all they did was shake their heads. "It's that time of day isn't it? The crazy mage is at it again."

The familiar lassitude of mana exhaustion overcoming her body, Megumin let herself fall back to the ground. But instead of landing on the soft patch of grass she had expressly picked out for the purpose, she found herself falling through a green ringed portal and into a strange, unfamiliar place.

Normally Megumin would find this more exciting, if not worrisome. But right now she was both helpless and filled with the supreme calm that always descended on her once she exhausted her mana, so the best she could muster was some mild curiosity at this surprising occurrence. Besides, when she did emerge from the dark tunnel and into a new location, her appearance seemed to coincide with a fairly large explosion, one sadly not caused by her. Megumin chose to take this as a good omen.

* * *

When the smoke cleared from her attempt at the Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual, Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere was overjoyed! Because there, visible through the fading smoke, was a shape lying low to the ground! Was it a snake? An alligator? Neither were exactly her preferred choice for familiar, but after spending her entire first year at the Tristain Academy for Magic explosively botching every single spell she attempted, Louise would even be willing to accept an overgrown weasel!

As a quick wind spell from Professor Colbert dissipated the last of the haze, Louise felt her heart plummet. Lying on the ground staring up at the sky was an ordinary looking brown-haired young girl. Her yellow-trimmed red dress and brown cloak looked normal enough, but lying next to her was a strange looking staff and a very peculiar hat - black, pointed, with two large red buttons placed above the stitched lining giving it an impression of a toothy grin.

The girl turned her head to look at Louise, revealing eyes of an unusual crimson shade. But other than that, there was nothing unusual about her. Even her clothes and very odd hat were made from everyday materials. Naturally, it was that infuriating Kirche von Zerbst that gave voice to what Louise was secretly dreading, "Did... did the Zero end up summoning a commoner girl? Hah, that's perfect, a useless familiar for a useless mage!"

At first Louise tried to plead with Professor Colbert to let her summon new familiar, but the professor was adamant. One summoning only, this was a sacred law that none may break unless their first familiar died. It didn't help that some of the other students pointed how humans, even commoners, had never been summoned before, and maybe the girl was just some farm girl Louise had bribed to make it look like she had summoned something instead of botching the spell as usual. Face burning with humiliation, Louise turned to her 'familiar' to finish the binding ritual.

By this time, the girl had taken hold of her staff and had placed her hat back on her head, but was still sitting on the ground. Scoffing, Louise barked, "You! Commoner! Stand up already so we can get this over with!" All she got in response was a stream of nonsense syllables.

"Oh Brimir, you can't even speak Tristanian. Look, I... need... you... to... stand...up."

Amazingly, speaking slowly and loudly accompanied by hand gestures didn't work. Louise just got more nonsense words before the girl offered her up her hand.

"What... I'm not going to pick you up! Pick yourself up!"

The girl raised a stoic eyebrow while keeping her hand extended. A discreet cough from Professor Colbert reminded Louise that the longer this lasted the bigger a fool she looked. Snarling she grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her to her feet. Once the girl was upright, Louise let her go and leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the cheek that would seal the familiar bond. Unfortunately for Louise, Megumin had yet to recover from her mana exhaustion. So the minute she let her go, Megumin started tipping forward, turning a discreet peck into a brief liplock.

Louise's reaction was instant, panicked flailing sending her familiar skidding several feet along the ground, once more flat on her back. Behind her she could hear Zerbst's obnoxious catcalling. "Zero, I always thought you were a cold fish! Way to prove me wrong! The fire, the passion, ah my heart swoons!"

Louise turned around to fire a furious diatribe, but was interrupted by a young girl's voice speaking in a dust dry tone, "I agree, that was most inappropriate. Both the kissing and throwing me around like that. Do you treat all your guests that way?"

Louise could feel her sanity starting to unravel as she turned her fury on her familiar. "You! Familiar! You speak Tristanian?! Then why were you pretending otherwise?"

"Ah, I have no idea what that is. You all just started making sense all of a sudden. I think it might have something to do with this." The familiar waved around her left hand, displaying a runic design that had appeared on the back. "Can someone please explain what all this is about?"

"Allow me," spoke up Professor Colbert. "You, young lady, are at the Tristanian Academy of Magic, and I am Professor Jean Colbert. You have just been summoned by one of our students in the sacred Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual. Those marks on your hand are your familiar runes, signifying your bond with your master, and as your surmised, probably the reason you can now speak our language."

The girl frowned at this. "And what if I don't want to be a familiar? Can't you just send me back?"

"I am afraid not. The summoning ritual is irreversible, and the familiar bond can only be broken by death."

"I see. Do you kidnap people like this often?"

"I'm afraid you're mistaken, you are in fact the first human summoned as a familiar in recorded history! Also, I don't think your situation is as bad as you think. Miss Valliere is the daughter of some of our foremost nobles, being her familiar can be quite an honor."

"That's right!" broke in Louise. "I am Louis Francois le Blanc de la Valliere, third daughter of the Duc de la Valliere! So show some respect!"

Alas for Louise, her attempts to impress her familiar were summarily destroyed once more by Kirche von Zerbst, who had strolled up to join them. "Yeah, show some respect for Louise the Zero, familiar! She is unique in all of the academy as the only mage who has never correctly cast a spell! Well, I suppose she has cast one spell properly now that you're here. Although even there she managed to be a Zero, summoning a commoner!"

"Shut up, Zerbst! No one asked you!" screeched Louise.

"Why darling, I - " Zerbst's rebuttal was cut off by a stern "Ahem!" from Colbert. "A little more decorum please ladies, as befitting your station." Turning his attention back to the still prone girl, he said, "I'm afraid we have yet to be introduced. May I help you up, Miss...?"

"Megumin. Ah, but I'm afraid I can't stand. I'm still too tired."

"Oh my, were you injured somewhere? I shall take you to the infirmary immediately!"

"No need. I am just tired. All I need is a bit of rest."

"Well at least let me Levitate you to a proper bed," said Colbert, waving his staff and lifting the girl off the ground with a Levitate spell.

"Oh, you are too kind Professor."

"Do not mention it, Miss Megumin. Miss Valliere, you have prepared quarters for your familiar, I trust?"

"I... have a place in my room..."

"Excellent, then let us proceed. Miss Zerbst, I trust you have your own duties to see to?"

Zerbst took the hint, but not before delivering a parting shot, "A familiar who is not only a commoner but the laziest commoner in all Halkegenia. You've really outdone yourself, Zero."

* * *

Louise was not happy. When they had gotten to her room last evening, Professor Colbert had declared the straw pile completely unfit for a young lady - never mind that as a commoner Megumin had probably slept on worse. Then he'd given Louise a stern look as if it was _her _fault her familiar was some insolent commoner instead of a proper animal or magical creature like everyone else's! And as a last insult, the Professor had insisted on letting the filthy commoner rest on _her_ bed while they waited for a proper cot to be brought in to replace the straw.

By the time the cot had been placed and the professor had left, Megumin had started moving around again. Louise had tried to get some work out of her by getting Megumin to undress her and do her laundry, but that had led to all sorts of drama. Megumin had blushed furiously, mumbled something about kissing and undressing and used panties, and then ended up calling Louise a pervert and hiding under her blankets.

It had taken a minute for Louise to parse the insane logic behind Megumin's accusation, and by then she was just _done _with this rude, nasty, lazy, incorrigible _BRAT_! Louise had been briefly tempted to pull out the riding crop her older sister had sent her for dealing with unruly familiars, but she desisted. First, because she had been feeling tired and wanted to sleep herself. Second, she wouldn't put it past the little brat to go running to Colbert, and then she'd be in trouble for 'mistreating a lady' as if the commoner was any such thing!

That had been yesterday. Today was the day that classes were cancelled so everyone could bond with their familiars. At first, Louise had planned to leave Megumin to her own devices and spend the day in the library. However, after two people stopped to ask her if she had really bribed a commoner to pretend to be her familiar (and another three had asked if her familiar had run away) she'd gone back to her room, dragged the brat out of the bed, then forced the brat to follow her out into the grounds. At least this way Louise could prove she had a familiar, no matter how worthless.

Of course, this meant she had to deal with Megumin. After just a few minutes aimlessly wandering the grounds, Megumin had casually asked, "You're pretty unpopular aren't you?"

"Shut up! What does a commoner like you know?!"

"I know what I heard. Do you really botch every spell you try?" After getting only a seething silence in response, Megumin continued, "Look, it's obviously a problem with your stats. Do you have an adventurer card?"

"Stats? And what is an adventurer card?"

"Figures. That explains why you're trying to class into Magician without the correct stats. You should really get that checked out before you waste any more time."

Louise stopped walking and turned around to face her familiar. "What, in Brimir's holy name, are _stats?_ And why do they matter for magic?!"

"Good grief, what does this fancy school of yours teach? It's obvious from what I've seen you people are trying to class into some kind of Magician job, and for that you need two things - a decent Intelligence and high Magic Power. If you had an adventurer card you could simple read off your stats, but since you don't we'll have to figure out the problem with your spellcasting another way."

"Wait what do YOU know about spellcasting?"

"I know that if you're having trouble learning a spell, then that means your intelligence is not up to the task. If your spell is fizzling, then it means your magic power is too low. So, how exactly are your spells failing? Are you having trouble understanding them, or powering them?"

"Neither! I have the best grades in magic theory! And my spells don't fizzle! They explode!"

"...What?"

"It's true. That's why they call me Zero, all right? It's because every spell I've ever tried has ended in an explosion!"

"Did you say... explosion?"

Louise had to jerk a step back at Megumin's sudden invasion of her personal space. "Um... yes?" On hearing this, Megumin turned around and started muttering and shaking her head. "Megumin, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong with this school?! They have in you the single most talented magician I've ever met, with a natural affinity for the greatest type of magic in the world, and they have you wasting time trying to learn parlor tricks!"

"What... are you saying you know my element?"

"It is obvious! Your natural element is Explosion!"

"That makes no sense!"

"That's because this primitive land is still wallowing in ignorance of the greatest secret of magic! So listen closely, while I, the Archwizard Megumin, greatest spellcaster of the Crimson Demons, educate you! The secret is this: there are many types of magic in the world, but there is one that stands supreme! One spell which stands above all! And that spell is Explosion! Any magician is blessed if she can cast this most sublime of spells! For it is the great universal truth - there is no problem in the world that cannot be solved by a sufficiently large Explosion!"

For a long moment Louise could only stare at the dramatic pose the crazy girl had struck. Then she scoffed, "I should have known better than to expect sense out of you! What does a commoner know of magic, anyway?"

"What does my being a commoner have to do with magic?"

"Are you saying you can actually cast magic?"

"Of course I can!" Megumin was now waving her weird staff in front of Louise. "Why do you think I'm carrying a wizard's staff around?"

"You're not just a commoner, but crazy! Give me that!" Louise grabbed the staff out of Megumin's hand, then froze. "Wait... I can feel my magic reacting to this... this is a magical focus!"

"Of course it is!" exclaimed Megumin, snatching back her staff. "What did you think it was, a walking stick?!"

"Oh Brimir in heaven, can you really do magic?"

"Yes! Unlike you, apparently!"

Louise didn't even notice the insult, she was too busy hyperventilating. "Oh Brimir, I kidnapped a foreign noble! I'm dead! Mother is going to kill me! And then she'll hand what's left of me to the Crown to be executed!"

"What on earth are you on about now? What noble? The Crimson Demon clan is highly respected, but that doesn't make me noble!"

"But... it is written in the words of Brimir that magic is the mark of nobility, a sign of our divine right to rule!"

"Wait, are you saying in your religion anyone with magical skill gets to be a noble? I guess that explains why everyone here wants to class into Magician then. Say, will I get to be a noble if I convert?"

"You... you're not a follower of Brimir?"

"Never heard of him. Look, if this religion comes with a great perk like instant nobility for casters, I'll definitely consider signing on. But right now we need to focus on what's important - you, and the supreme magic that is Explosion!"

"So... what are you saying? That the only magic I can cast is Explosion which is why all my spells explode?"

"Perhaps. There is only one way to test it. Tell me Louise, have you ever really, truly _tried_ to blow something up?"

"No."

"As I thought! Well, no time like the present! Pick a target and let's go! How about that tower over there?"

"You can't aim at a tower! Even if the Void Tower is not in use!"

"Oh Louise, don't you understand? It's all well and good to blow up an empty field. But to really _feel_ it, you need something thick and hard that you can really pound! This is your first time, it needs to be special!"

Louise was feeling a bit uncomfortable at Megumin's word choices, but the idea had been planted in her head. All the towers of the Academy were masterpieces of magical reinforcement, even a square mage like her mother could barely scratch one. How much damage could she and a young girl really do? They'd be lucky to knock some dust off! At worst they'd get yelled at a bit. There was one problem though. "I don't know any chants for an explosion spell..."

"That's fine, we'll do this together! Just repeat after me! Ready?... **From the heart of the greatest truth of magic, and its sweetest lies, I call it forth! The alpha and the omega! The primal force that created the universe! I now call upon you, to return the undeserving to the cosmic dust from whence we came! E**_**xplosion**_**!"**

What no one knew was that Louise was a Void mage. Void spells have a natural tendency to eat away spells of other elements. Louise' spell hit a fraction of a second before Megumin's, just long enough to temporarily disrupt every protective enchantment on the structure. When Megumin's Explosion hit, the Void Tower simply ceased to exist, along with several dozen yards of surrounding wall. Debris flew every which way, miraculously hurting no one. One ten-ton piece did go on to hit the Fire Tower with sufficient force to cause it to be evacuated for weeks as it was repaired.

"Oh no, no, no, no, this can't be real! Those towers are supposed to be magic resistant!" Louise moaned in horror.

Megumin spoke up from where she had collapsed from magical exhaustion, "Do you think we'll get in trouble for that?"

"Trouble?!" Louise laughed hysterically. "Why should we get in trouble? We didn't just blow up a part of the school! We blew up the **Void Tower!** The Tower sacred to the Founder Himself! That's beyond destruction of property, that's... that's... blasphemy!"

"Ah. Sounds to me like we need to run. You'll have to carry me though, I used too much magic and now I can't move."

"Why should I run? This was all your idea to begin with!"

"Do you think anyone will believe that? As you said, everyone thinks I'm just some commoner. But you are the infamous Zero, the girl who can blow up anything! When I tell them how you dragged me along to demonstrate your might... how terrifying it was to hear your demonic chant... why, fear has left me paralyzed!"

For a long moment, Louise was left speechless. "You... you wouldn't!"

Megumin looked up at Louise, an intolerably smug look on her childish face, "Wouldn't I?"

"You little demon!"

"Crimson Demon. Now come on, move it already. We need to grab some transport and be out of here before anyone can figure out what happened. So pick me up and let's go!"

"I'm your master! You don't order me around!"

"I'm teaching you to be a good master and not abandon your familiar. Oh, I wonder the kind of face everyone will make when I tell them how you just left me here, helpless, while you celebrated your destruction of a sacred building..."

"Fine! I'll do it! I'll get us out of here! But Megumin, let us be clear - **I hope you burn in hell!**"

"Now is that any way to show your gratitude to someone who finally fixed the problem with your magic? Thanks to me you're no longer a zero," Megumin pointed out as Louise pulled her up and set her to leaning on Louise's shoulder.

"You know, I'm becoming more and more convinced I've ended up making a deal with my own personal devil. That's it, isn't it? You're a devil I've summoned from hell and you've given me what I wanted at the cost of everything else!" lamented Louise as she and Megumin stumbled their way towards the stables.

Megumin snorted. "Less theology, more walking. We've got a long way to go."

_A\N: I know in the FoZ anime Saito got the language skill when Louise botched a Silence spell, but that just sounds both random and stupid. Having language be part of the Familiar rune makes way more sense._


	6. Shoulder Devil 2 (YSNaruto)

_Another commission by __Hangwind_

_And speaking of commissions, I've launched a new tier of short commissions on my Pat Reon__, a cheaper and faster option for those who don't want a full chapter._

_Disclaimer: I own neither Youjo Senki nor Naruto_

_Finally, I've deleted the first chapter, since apparently even a single chapter of original content is unacceptable on this site. The first chapter is still available on SpaceBattles, Sufficient Velocity, and Archive of Our Own, for those interested._

**Shoulder Devil Ch. 2**

Sakura had to admit, there were times she found herself in agreement with Tanya's more caustic observations regarding Konoha's administration. In this particular case, it was the observation Tanya had made, months ago, that the chief purpose of Konoha's library (at least the civilian-accessible sections) was to spread propaganda and disinformation rather than educate the public.

Her initial foray into the library had been to find information on the Uchiha clan in order to try and determine what sort of women ended up marrying into their leadership. That had been months ago. She was now well past her eleventh birthday and in her last year in the academy, and she had finally found something pertaining to her original quest.

It was a record of births and marriages in the higher ranked houses of the Uchiha clan, stretching back to shortly after the Village's founding. You'd think such a record would be in the section of the library dedicated to the Uchiha clan. Or maybe the section on village history and politics, or even a genealogical record. But no, she had found it of all places in a medical text discussing the inheritance of bloodline traits. She hadn't even been looking for it, instead having borrowed the book merely out of curiosity in between studying up on battlefield medicine.

During her research on the Uchiha, the few genealogies in the library dealt almost exclusively with clans that were already extinct. The section on village history seemed to pretend that the Uchiha did nothing of real significance other than steal other village's techniques with their special chakra-detecting eyes, run the village Police Force, and produce the arch-traitors Madara Uchiha and Itachi Uchiha. The section specifically dedicated to the Uchiha seemed to alternately brag about and condemn the clan for their seemingly overwhelming obsession with combat prowess and their Sharingan eyes. There were practically no works authored by Uchiha other than a few texts on fire jutsu theory, and some commentaries on Konoha politics that were blatant even in Sakura's inexperienced eyes for their pro-Uchiha bias. It was telling that the most cited work on the Uchiha Clan was written by Tobirama Senju the Second Hokage, a man who was openly accepted as one of their harshest detractors.

Sakura had at first been intimidated and confused by the seemingly contradictory nature of much of the material available on the Uchiha. Then Tanya had suggested she line up the references based on publication date, and a pattern emerged. Books at or around the First Hokage's time were harshly critical of Madara Uchiha, but positive towards the rest of his clan, almost as if all evil in the world (or at least, Konoha) was carried by Madara and died with him. Once the Second Hokage came to power, that tune changed. The Second's own polemic on the Uchiha quickly became the go-to reference, and the oft-quoted phrase 'The Curse of Hatred' came into being with regards to the Uchiha clan.

With the death of the Second, there was once more a more positive outlook on the Uchiha, at least during the first half of the Third Hokage's reign. Then came the Second Shinobi World War, and commentary on the Uchiha went from praising them to damning them with faint praise. The books noted the superior performance of Uchiha soldiers, but also noted how few of them there were, since large parts of the clan never left the village as they were part of the Police Force. This was a pattern than continued right up until the Uchiha massacre. After that, all mention of them stopped with a startling suddenness. A few records referenced the massacre as the cause of the massive shrinkage in Uchiha numbers, but reading the latest work (her own academy history textbook) you'd get the impression the Uchiha numbers had simply faded due to natural causes.

Tanya had then made Sakura find the casualty lists for the Second Shinobi War, before pinpointing what Tanya claimed was the reason opinion seemed to have turned against the Uchiha halfway through the Third's reign. The Second Shinobi War had inflicted enormous damage on the Senju and their allies. Both Senju and Sarutobi clans had taken serious casualties, and the Uzumaki had been wiped out entirely. In contrast, the Uchiha had come through mostly intact. Starting a propaganda campaign suggesting they had done less than their share was an obvious ploy to damage their political standing.

A lengthy trawl through the books mentioning other clans showed that the Uchiha were perhaps unique in how the history books had treated them. While not all clans were acclaimed, no other shinobi clan had been so publicly accused of holding back on their commitment to Konoha. Even the disgrace and suicide of someone called Sakumo of the Hatake clan had been treated as an aberration. Tanya had a ready explanation - no other clan in Konoha had posed a threat to the Senju and their allies' preeminence in the village, so naturally there was no point vilifying them.

At that point, Sakura had given up getting anything actually useful out of the library on the Uchiha. However, she had picked up one clue. The Uchiha prized power, that was something almost very source agreed on. Which meant the best thing she could do was make herself the strongest shinobi she could be. Which was what Tanya had wanted, and what she could have been doing if she hadn't spent weeks studying the Uchiha.

Tanya had been unbearably smug for days.

The pursuit of power had seen her returning to the library, though nowhere near as often. The most useful part of the library had been the chronicles on foreign shinobi (information on whom Konoha was relatively free with). Not because these chronicles contained any actual skills, but because it gave Sakura an idea of what was possible for a high level shinobi to achieve. The answer, it seemed, was almost anything...

* * *

"Please remember, Sakura, even though your chakra seems to be at least rooted in magecraft as I knew it, there are distinct differences. Magecraft was ultimately about manipulating direct physical forces and raw energy. Chakra is far more conceptual in nature. Chakra seems to work in certain ways because you _think_ it ought to work that way. The entire elemental cycle, for example, is clearly a human construct having no basis in nature, but is accepted as universal truth because all current ninjutsu seems to have descended from a single source. Magic's advantage is that because it consists of simple, direct manipulations, it did not have to struggle against the natural laws. For example, a flight spell was nothing more than sustained thrust directed at your own body. Like throwing a kunai, only you were throwing yourself. Otherwise, everything was happening within the bounds of nature. With chakra on the other hand, every technique is a concept that you are trying to enforce on the world, often running directly in the face of natural law. This lowers the strength of your effects, but it does drastically increase the versatility, so there's no reason you shouldn't be able to do this."

Sakura rolled her eyes at the pompous lecturing tone of the voice inside her head. "Because throwing yourself through the air is so natural! I tried that with chakra and I nearly broke my neck!"

"I warned you that sustained flight required constant minute thrust adjustments that no human mind can easily keep up with, which is why we used computation orbs. Besides, what are you complaining about? You got a new movement technique out of it didn't you? You might not be able to fly, but how many shinobi can bounce off nothing and change direction in midair?"

"I still end up falling flat half the time," Sakura grumbled.

"You're getting better. By the time graduation comes, it will be second nature."

"Are you sure I can't show off to Ino?"

"Not until you have it down flawlessly. You don't want to embarrass yourself."

"Mm-hm," hummed Sakura happily. "She will be so surprised when I show her!" Her face grew a bit sadder. "Do you think Sasuke would be impressed as well?"

"He's ignored you even though you've made enormous strides in your physical and combat scores. I think at this point the only thing he'll notice past his self-centered brooding is you kicking his ass."

"Are... are you sure that's the way to go about it?"

"Positive! That genealogy said every wife to a senior Uchiha has been at least a chunin by age fifteen! Of course, their family tree is more like a ladder, but at least that's one challenge you don't have to overcome."

Sakura directed a frown at her inner voice. "Are you sure it's not because you're upset he refuses to acknowledge our improvement?"

"Of course not! Would I be that petty?"

"Yes."

"Well, if I am being petty, it is on your behalf, my apprentice. Now, enough goofing off. With the increased flexibility of chakra over magic, it should be perfectly possible to convert the Clone technique into a more generalized optical illusion."

"It's not that easy! The clone technique echoes the user's own body to create the illusion! Now I'm replacing that ready-made model with a construct I have to create in my head! Just getting the technique to use a mental image as a source rather than my physical body was a nightmare! You should know, you helped me put the theory together!"

"Yes, well, unless you can get yourself apprenticed to a genjutsu specialist anytime soon, this is the only way we're going to get some decent illusions under our belt."

"I could just wait until I graduate and get a jounin-sensei and learn genjutsu properly from him, instead of trying to reinvent the wheel."

"Now you're arguing just for the sake of it. You read the duties of jounin-sensei in the manuals. They are there to provide leadership and guidance - but absolutely no mention that they are obligated to teach genin new techniques. If we're particularly unlucky, we'll end up with a jackass who does the bare minimum and otherwise leaves us to our own devices."

Grumbling to herself, Sakura returned to her training. Perhaps sensing her lowering mood, Tanya spoke a few minutes later. "Look on the bright side. The teachers are already permitting you to spar with the boys. Give it a couple more weeks, and you might get put up against Sasuke. That's your chance to make sure he can no longer ignore you."

Sakura immediately brightened up at the reminder of her recent success. Normally, the boys and girls were segregated for taijutsu spars. But after Sakura had spent months thrashing every girl in class including the Hyuga heiress, the teachers had finally acquiesced to her demand to spar with the boys.

Of course, her success had come with downsides. Both Ino and Hinata seemed to have been inspired (or shamed) by her success, because they were throwing themselves into their training much harder than before. Ino had already declared her intention to join Sakura on the boys' side, and though Hinata was as quiet as ever, there was a determined air about her that suggested similar thoughts.

Sakura scowled furiously and focused even harder on her training. She was not going to lose this contest! Her true love was at stake!

* * *

It was taking everything she had not to gloat. There was only four months left until graduation, but Sakura had done it! Iruka-sensei had just signaled her to step into the ring with her true love!

"Thank god we didn't get that suck-up Mizuki today," grumbled Tanya.

Sakura agreed, Mizuki was annoying. He always seemed to enjoy putting Sasuke up against Naruto and then fawning over the inevitable victory. Even more annoyingly, no one could really complain, since Naruto was always eager to fight, and technically he was in the top quarter of the taijutsu class. Naruto had no skill and would use his incredible toughness to win battles of attrition against any opponent lacking finishing power, which made him absolutely hopeless against an opponent with actual talent.

As they entered the sparring circle, Tanya spoke crisply, "All right, break it down. What are his advantages over us?"

"Superior strength, speed, talent, training, experience, and stamina. And he probably eats better," Sakura snarked back mentally.

"And his weakness?"

"Overconfidence?"

"His or ours?"

"I'll take what I can get." Sakura considered it a small victory to get a genuine chuckle from Tanya.

"So. Plan A?"

"Plan A," Sakura agreed. Truth be told, plans B through D amounted to, 'Plan A, but sneakier'. Not that sneakiness was likely to work if Sasuke figured them out. "And don't forget your promise!"

There was a long moment of silence, and then Tanya replied, "I won't."

* * *

The fight, when it happened, was over quickly. Sasuke started the fight the same way he did with any opponent he didn't respect - a lightning fast blitz.

Sakura immediately fell into a heightened mental state - the very first of Tanya's spells she had learned - and picked her moment to countercharge, letting Sasuke's fist brush by her face.

Sasuke immediately switched to defense, not that it mattered. Sakura wasn't looking to hit him, only to establish a firm grip. Before Sasuke realized what was happening, Sakura had stuck her feet to the ground with chakra, and _heaved_.

Even a girl as small as Sakura could lift an impressive amount of weight if she had picked up the trick of strengthening herself with chakra. Combined with a weak Reinforcement spell running through the Type 95, she could deadlift way more than Sasuke's body weight. Credit to him, Sasuke flipped through the air and stuck a perfect landing. He also did it over a foot outside the arena.

Iruka-sensei seemed almost disbelieving as he declared Sakura the winner. Sakura though was far more interested in Sasuke's reaction. Her heart fell as she read frustration, anger, and resentment, but not an ounce of admiration.

* * *

Sitting alone in her room, Sakura listened as Tanya tried to comfort her. Sakura could always tell when Tanya was trying to be sympathetic, because she was so bad at it. "... and really, what does it matter what a little boy thinks of you anyway? It should be mature, intelligent _men_ you should be looking for..."

"Enough, Tanya." Sakura cut her off. "I'm not that upset. If Sasuke can't appreciate my strength, I'll find something else. In the meantime, you have a promise to keep. You said you'd tell me a bit about how you got stuck in the Type 95."

"Ah. That. Well, the simple answer is I failed to heed the lesson of Arachne."

"Arachne?"

"An ancient tale. It goes something like this. There was once Arachne, a weaver of such great talent that she thought herself equal to Athena, a kami of weaving. Athena didn't like that, and challenged her to a weaving contest. During the contest, Arachne wove a tapestry depicting the many true tales of how the local kami had tricked and hurt humans - and she did it with skill surpassing Athena's. Athena, however, was a very sore loser. She destroyed Arachne's work and hurt her and shamed her. When Arachne tried to kill herself to escape her torment, Athena cursed her into the form of a spider to live out her life a mindless insect."

"So... the lesson is, don't piss off kami?"

"That. And also, it doesn't matter if you're in the right. The powerful can only be held accountable if you have power of your own. I used to live in a world of rules and laws, so I'd forgotten that lesson. But you, Sakura, live in a village which peddles violence for cash. So either become powerful, or accept being the plaything of the powerful. Otherwise you'll end up like Arachne. Or me."

There both sat in silence for a long time. Then Sakura said, "You know Tanya, I like to think I've come to know you quite a bit."

"So?"

"So, I don't think you've learned your lesson at all. You're still fighting, aren't you?"

Tanya did not reply. She did not speak for the rest of the night. It would be a long time before either of them brought up the topic again.


	7. Martian Crusade 2 (YS War of the Worlds)

_Disclaimer: I own neither Youjo Senki nor War of the Worlds_

_Commissioned by my patron Mackenzie Buckle_

**The Martian Crusade Ch. 2**

"Mary!"

The brown haired fifteen year old girl named Mary Sue looked up at the shouted call and smiled at seeing one of her fellow mage candidates. "Robert!" she waved back her greeting. "What is it?"

Robert Jerome was a friend, someone Mary had got along with surprisingly well in spite of his being four years older. His rail thin build and large green eyes under his head of sleek dark brown hair often put Mary in mind of an overexcited ferret. Not that she'd ever be so rude as to say it out loud, especially to someone who'd been so kind to her during their training for the Unified States' 42nd Mage Wing.

Robert jogged up to her, his mouth already firing off words in his excitement. "Word just came out, there's going to be a big radio announcement. We're all expected to be there."

"An announcement? What about?"

"Like they tell us nuggets shi- uh, anything at all." Robert had a naturally foul mouth that he'd self-censor in Mary's presence, something Mary always found amusing. Now though, he leaned forward and tapped his nose. "It doesn't take too much thinking to guess what it's gonna be about though."

Mary did a bit of thinking of her own, and her face clouded over. "Those rumors coming out of the Rockies?"

Over the past few weeks, more and more outlandish rumors had been coming in. Everything from demons from hell to alien invasion to the South rising again led by the ghost of Stonewall Jackson. The rumors only seemed to agree on two things. First, that there was an unknown armed force operating in Unified States territory. Second, and more worryingly, these forces seemed to be operating all throughout the Rocky Mountains. While getting a force that deep into the country's borders was theoretically possible using aircraft and magic, to do so in sufficient numbers to be observed in six states meant either a terrifyingly high level of enemy coordination or a horrifyingly low level of border security. The situation had reportedly gotten bad enough that overland transport routes between the eastern and western halves of the country were being threatened, an extremely serious state of affairs.

Mary herself had another reason to be concerned. She had never made it a secret that her primary reason for joining the armed forces was to fight against the Empire, that cruel European hegemon that had claimed her father's life and captured her homeland. If the US got distracted chasing ghosts in the Rockies, then her own opportunity to fight for the freedom of her people would disappear, especially with the Empire seemingly on the verge of total victory.

Robert nodded his head in agreement to Mary's words. "What else could it be, really? The papers have been going crazy and it's almost all you hear about on the radio. More than likely they've finally figured out what's going on."

Mary shrugged. "I hope they did more than figure it out, I hope they put a stop to it. After all, there's a war going on that we're training to fight in. We can't afford distractions."

"Don't think of it that way, Mary. Instead think of it as a chance for our army to get some warming up. After all, whoever it is causing trouble in the mountains, they can't be as bad as the Empire." Robert brightened up as the idea seemed to grip his imagination. "Hey, we're most of the way through training here. Think there's a chance they'll deploy us to help mop up these jokers?"

Mary shook her head in disbelief. "You're dreaming, Robert. Why on earth would they send a bunch of half-baked rookies like us when they've got a dozen other wings to call on? Unless whoever is causing trouble manages to survive for another six months, I doubt we're going to catch any of that action. When is this radio announcement supposed to happen anyway?"

"Oh right! Everyone's to assemble at the main briefing room at six."

"Six? Then I'd better get going, I've got some things I want to get done before them. I'll see you there."

* * *

Six in the evening saw all the personnel on base that were not on essential duties gathered in the main briefing room around a large radio. The camp commandant was there with his top officers and looking particularly grim - Mary suddenly had a sinking feeling that he'd been briefed beforehand, and it wasn't good news. Along with the camp officers, there were a dozen mage officers and over two times as many mage trainees like herself, and several support staff like the engineering and communication officers.

At precisely six, the music on the radio came to an abrupt halt. _"Attention citizens of the Unified States. We have now an extremely important announcement directly from our honored President, Victor Coolidge."_

Immediately after a new voice came on, one Mary vaguely recognized.

_"Citizens of the Unified States! It is with a heavy heart that I stand before you today to announce that our fine nation is under attack by an outside force. _

_Many of you have already heard rumors of an unknown force operating in the Rocky Mountains and attacking our citizens. Thanks to expeditions launched by the brave men and women of the 1st Infantry Division, the 36th Armored Cavalry, and the 24th Mage Division among others, we have confirmed and engaged hostile elements at multiple locations. These engagements were fierce and not without casualties. But, in the end, our forces prevailed and succeeding in pushing back the enemy on multiple fronts. _

_However, the enemy is far from defeated. Ladies and gentlemen, please understand that what I am about to say next is the result of much careful study by the top scientific minds of our nation. After examining the remains of the hostile forces, it is the consensus of the United States government that this enemy is of **extraterrestrial** origin._

_No, this is not a mistake or a joke. Newspapers tomorrow will carry pictures of these invaders, but let me assure you now, this enemy is not and never was human. According to our scientists, the appearance of these aliens can be traced back to the unexpected meteor showers this past June. It is now believed that the meteors were not inert rock, but landing craft carrying these invaders to our soil. The commanders of the expeditionary forces have confirmed the existence of at least one alien stronghold deep in the Colorado Rockies, and it is believed there are several others, corresponding to the predicted landing site of their craft._

_If you are wondering what it is these creatures want, I am forced to answer that no one knows. All efforts at communication thus far have failed. Their only purpose seems to be destruction and chaos. They make no attempt to negotiate, they do not seem to discriminate between civilians and soldiers, nor do they respect flags of truce._

_Furthermore, we are far from the only country under threat. Our government has received reports of alien attacks from South America, Africa, and Asia. We have confirmed alien sightings along the Mexican border. Even now, our southern neighbors are locked in a bitter struggle of their own as alien forces encroach on their very capital._

_The situation in Central America is also very serious. Not only has the country of Gran Colombia been thrown into chaos, but the alien incursion seriously threatens the vital Panama Canal. Even now, our Caribbean fleet sails for Central America to reinforce this crucial lifeline of American commerce. _

_In the face of unrelenting hostility from this alien menace, I have no choice but to declare a state of national emergency. All active forces are being called to readiness, and all reserves are being mobilized. The armed forces will be expanded to meet the various threats against our interests both foreign and domestic. _

_Ladies and gentlemen, I will not lie, this cowardly and unprovoked attack has hurt us. Many are our citizens who have died, often caught unprepared in their homes by an enemy that seems to know nothing not just of the laws of war, but the most basic of civilized conduct. _

_But, my fellow citizens, make no mistake. **We will prevail!** Even now our courageous forces push back these creatures to their mountain holdfasts. It may take time, but soon enough, this invasion will be crushed. I know not what foul pit of hell spawned these creatures, but with God on our side these vermin will be sent back to the hell from whence they came! We are the brave! The free! We are the Unified States of America! We are the greatest nation in the world, and these unholy invaders will feel our wrath, so I swear on my honor as your President! And to our brave soldiers I say Godspeed and good hunting!"_

As the President went off the air, the regular announcer came back with follow up announcements. Mary didn't get to hear any of those because the commandant reached over and switched off the radio.

The grizzled officer looked out among the stunned soldiers and growled, "All right boys and girls, as you can tell, the shit's hit the fan and in a whole new way, and we've all got our marching orders. Overall, the strategy is to fortify our borders against any outside incursions while we crush the squids holed up in the Rockies. Yeah, I said squids, and you'll call 'em that too once you get to see the pictures. We're also supposed to be fortifying Panama, but that's the Navy's headache.

As for us here? Well, for starters, your European tour's been cancelled. I know you've all been looking forward to showing the Krauts what for, but all that's out the window while there's a single squid alive within American borders. Also, we're pushing all of you out early. We're going to get you nuggets ready to fly in six weeks, not six months. Your new lesson plans are already going out. As for why, well turns out the squids have some pretty fancy gear that works way better in mountain terrain than our own armor. Mages are the best bet we have for taking them out without racking up a butcher's bill, so we need all the mages we can get. Now, Squadron A..."

As the commandant continued to brief individual squadrons and flights, Mary sat there frozen in shock. Aliens! Creatures from the depths of space, here to kill them all! All of a sudden, her vengeance against the Empire seemed so petty and unimportant. Not when death and destruction was on her very doorstep. Uncertain of what else she could do, she fell back on childhood habit and began to pray. "Our Lord in Heaven..."

* * *

**Excerpt from Lionel Hart's History of the Extraterrestrial War**

_...Ultimately, success of the Martian's initial invasion relied almost entirely on speed and surprise. Before the nations of the world were even aware of it, several resources vital to the Martian military machine had been occupied and were producing at rates far beyond anything Earth technology could achieve. It is now obvious that the Martians had carried out a very careful geological survey of our planet prior to their arrival. Every major Martian landing was aimed at a rich concentration of ore or oil. Furthermore, each landing team carried the raw materials necessary to complement local resources in order to build their weapons of war._

_Fortunately for the human race, sheer distance worked to limit the forces the Martians could land on our world. Given the technological disparity, if the Martians had been able to land their weapons of war en masse, the initial strike may have crippled humanity's ability to resist. Fortunately, the need to build up their forces from local manufacture meant the governments of our world had time to adjust to this new reality._

_In areas where large, organized forces were near at hand the alien forces were swiftly contained. The most notable such example would be the Unified States, where in spite of multiple large landings, the American forces were able to corral the invaders after a few months of fighting, even if actually destroying the enemy strongholds would take a lot longer._

_However, in large parts of Asia, South America, and Africa, the situation was not nearly so favorable. The aliens were able to operate largely unchecked in the sparsely populated jungles of Africa and the steppes of Central Asia, and large parts of South America fell early into alien hands. Even if their brethren elsewhere were being destroyed, the invaders in these regions successfully set up massive armaments complexes designed to churn out the war machines that would eventually threaten the whole world... _


	8. Shoulder Devil 3 (YSNaruto)

_My patrons __Hangwind__ and __Akitsu91__ have both commissioned Shoulder Devil, so we'll be getting two chapters this month. This is the first._

**Shoulder Devil Ch. 3**

"He didn't even look at me," came the sad whine. "Even though I fought so hard!"

Sakura sighed and gave her best friend a hug. "Come on Ino, don't be sad. He doesn't look at anyone. But at least the teachers let you spar with him! That shows how much you've improved!"

"Hmmm..." Ino melted into the hug, then muttered, "It hurts."

"Where?"

"My back from when he knocked me down."

Sakura snorted. "You just want another backrub." Sometimes Sakura regretted using Ino to test the tips on using pressure points that she'd picked up from a medical text. Now the girl would use any excuse to talk Sakura into giving her a massage, and she was utterly shameless about it.

Sure enough, Ino was smirking at her, "Well then, you shouldn't be so good at it." Then she was pouting at her with watery eyes. "Besides, the love of my life just beat me up in a spar. As my best friend, isn't it your job to help comfort me?"

Sakura didn't bother holding back her eye roll. "And where were you when Sasuke kicked my butt two weeks ago?"

Ino turned up her nose. "That's entirely deserved after the way you cheated him out of a victory that first time."

Before meeting the soul inside the clockwork jewel, Sakura would either have left in a huff or meekly accepted that remark. Now she placed a hand on Ino's shoulder and squeezed down on her collarbone with chakra-enhanced strength.

Ignoring the resulting whimper Sakura cheerfully said, "Ino, you're right. Perhaps I should take this opportunity to train my pressure point technique. After all, there's so many interesting points on your body I haven't tried yet."

"Ow ow ow I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean it!"

Sakura huffed and relented. Ino scrunched up her face as she rubbed her shoulder. "Mou, so mean Sakura! Can't you take a joke?"

"My tolerance for your jokes is at about the same level as your tolerance for pain." Sakura teased.

"Hmph. What happened to that sweet shy girl I used to know? I want old Sakura back!"

Sakura only chuckled. There had been no heat in Ino's words, only artificial whining. Over the last several months Sakura had asserted herself more and more within her social circle. She had not noticed it at the time, but some of Tanya's mannerisms - particularly her attitude of taking absolutely no shit from anyone - had rubbed off on her own. However, instead of offending Ino, it only seemed to make her happier. The two of them regularly traded barbs that would send any other girl running in tears, yet their friendship only seemed to grow stronger for it. Even their newfound ambition to climb the taijutsu rankings only brought them closer together instead of causing more rivalry.

Sakura mentally sighed as she started carefully working on the muscles of Ino's back. "_At least one of my relationships is working out." _she mentally commented to the Type-95 jewel hidden under her clothing.

_"Well, it's arguably the more important one."_ came the voice of Tanya von Degurechaff. _"Besides, I told you the reason Sasuke is probably ignoring all girls is because he simply hasn't gone through puberty yet. He's probably still at the 'girls are icky' stage. Late bloomers are a thing, you know?"_

Sakura tried not to let her frustration show on her face. Since that first time she had been up against Sasuke twice. She had lost both times. The trick with the sparring ring would only ever have worked once, so she didn't embarrass herself trying to repeat it. But without it, her defeat was almost assured given Sasuke's massive advantages in talent and training. Even so, she had surprised herself. She'd managed to drag out both spars for minutes, landing several solid hits before going down. Furthermore, she'd managed to rack up wins against every other top taijutsu ranker. It was a far better performance than she had ever believed herself capable of, yet instead of finding it attractive Sasuke just seemed frustrated at her growth.

_"Maybe he doesn't like strong girls after all? Maybe that's not his type?"_ Sakura sent.

_"Since he's never shown any interest in any girl, there's no way of actually knowing his type. I'd say you'd have an easier time proving he prefers his own gender."_

_"Don't even joke about that!"_

_"Ah, not a fan of yaoi? Strange, I always thought girls were into that sort of thing."_

_"Ugh! Don't tell me you like that stuff?"_

_"No. But then I was never a very normal girl."_

As Sakura continued working the kinks out of Ino's back and bantering with Tanya, she appreciated how both her friends helped distract her from her romantic problems. Still, she couldn't help but keep an eye on the calendar. The date of the final exams was only two months away. After that, they'd all be broken up into teams and it would be much harder to catch Sasuke's eye then. She really hoped Tanya was right about him being a late bloomer, because she refused to accept the other theory.

* * *

"HEY SAKURA!"

"ARGH!" The dark green glow around her hands flew out of control, and the apple she'd been working on withered and fell apart. Sakura whirled around in a fury. "GODDAMIT NARUTO! Can't you ever learn to talk in a normal voice? I'm not deaf!"

In a fine twist of irony, Sakura had actually developed some tolerance to the loud and annoying boy over the last year. This was not because he had improved his behavior, but because of how virulently Tanya hated him. So vitriolic were Tanya's rants about the blond boy, Sakura had actually found herself defending him, pointing out that many of the faults that Tanya identified could only ever be fixed by a good role model, something Naruto, as an orphan, lacked. Since then she'd tried to be a bit more patient with him, but sometimes, like now, he made it very hard. Medical chakra was dangerous enough without someone yelling in her ear.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry, Sakura! But I saw you and I just wanted to say hi! And hey, you want to come Ichiraku Ramen with me? They're having a special sale! It could be our first date..."

Of course, the trouble with trying to be patient with Naruto was just how quickly he could burn through it. He was almost as frustrating as Sasuke. Sometimes, Naruto could show flashes of genuine insight. And then he'd almost immediately regress to being a buffoon.

"Naruto," Sakura bit out. "We have been over this before. Just because I'm willing to talk to you doesn't mean I want to go on a date with you! What sane girl would?!" She hadn't meant to add that last line, but annoyance loosened her tongue.

"Hey! I'm going to be Hokage you know! Everyone will look up to me then!"

Sakura felt something snap. Today had been a day of ninjutsu practice in class, and Naruto had again demonstrated he couldn't do the Clone technique to save his life. That he would have the sheer unmitigated gall to make such a boast when Sakura was finding so much difficulty self-teaching anything beyond the Academy basics was a step too far.

Her voice was steady and calm as she spoke. "I don't believe you."

"Huh?"

"I don't believe you when you say you'll be Hokage. I've never believed you. Do you know why?"

"Look, just 'cos I'm last in class - "

"No Naruto. It has nothing to do with you being last. It's because you. Never. Try."

"What? 'Course I try! Naruto Uzumaki never gives up! That's my ninja way!"

"Liar." Sakura's hiss was almost serpentine, and her face must not be any better, judging by how Naruto took a step back. "All you do is the exact same thing, over and over again, and then acting surprised when it doesn't work. That's not trying! That's just being lazy! You tell everyone that you never give up, but the truth is, you're too lazy to try anything new!"

"T-that's not..."

"You keep asking me out for a date in the exact same way. I say no every time, yet you never even try to figure out what you did wrong. I've called you too loud a hundred times, yet you still can't control your volume! There's only six weeks left until the finals, and you still can't do the Clone! Yet instead of practicing or trying to get help from Iruka sensei, you're here wasting my time!"

Naruto was looking down at the ground now. As Sakura paused to take breath, he mumbled something. "What was that?" Sakura asked.

"I said, I've tried the Clone tons of times. I just can't make it work," Naruto muttered.

Sakura raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "So you just gave up? I thought Naruto Uzumaki never gives up?"

Watching Naruto's face turn red with shame, Sakura decided to drive home the point. "Naruto, do you know I spend an hour each day working on my chakra control and techniques, even on school days?"

"Oh..umm..."

"Do you know why I spend an hour a day on it?"

"So you can get real good at it?"

"No Naruto. The reason I spend an hour on it, is because I can't spend more time training without getting chakra exhaustion. I have so many things I want to train, and I can't because of my natural limits. Do you know how jealous I am of you?"

"Of me?"

"Yes, you! You can't sense chakra can you? Well I can, just a little bit, and even that's enough for me to tell that you have more chakra than anyone in the academy! Even Iruka-sensei!"

"R-really?"

"Yes! And what do you do with all that chakra? Nothing! You waste time goofing around and pranking people and bothering me! You could easily spend all day playing around with chakra and hand signs and trying to figure something that worked, but you don't! And that's why you'll never be Hokage! Because whenever something gets too hard, you just keep trying the same thing and whining about it instead of actually using your brains to come up with a new idea!"

"Y-yeah? Well I'll do it! Just watch! I'll come up with some awesome stuff!"

"Don't say it, idiot. Just do it. And while we're at it, when's the last time you sat down to study your text books?"

"Uhhh..."

Sakura sneered. "Let me guess, you had a hard time understanding the material, so you just called it boring and gave up, didn't you? You sure do give up a lot."

That stung Naruto into showing a bit of anger. "Yeah well why do we even need to learn all that useless stuff?"

"Oh? So you're suddenly smarter than the Hokage who set up the academy and all the sensei who teach in it? You magically know what is useful and what isn't?" Sakura sighed deeply, growing weary of this argument. She'd forgotten how stubborn the idiot could be. "Just... just go away Naruto. You have all the chakra in the world, you actually somehow got to be Iruka-sensei's friend... and yet in spite of all that, you never learn anything, you never try anything new, you just keep half-assing everything and then complaining when it doesn't work."

Something about Sakura's tired tone got through Naruto's thick skull when all her earlier yelling hadn't. He blinked and sniffled, then wiping his eyes he said, "Yeah? Well you'll see! I'm gonna work so hard, I'll figure out all sorts of awesome ideas! It's the promise of a lifetime!" With that declaration, he turned and ran off.

Sakura was tempted to get in the last word and point out the finals were only in six weeks, but she decided she didn't want to bother. She sighed again, feeling a bit guilty. Unlike many of the brats in her class, Naruto was never malicious. It was just that under the buffoonery she could see glimpses of genuine talent that Naruto was just carelessly wasting. It was frustrating for her and it drove Tanya into a frothing fury.

And speak of the devil... _"I have to admit, I am impressed,"_ came the spirit's voice. _"I do believe you've managed to simultaneously get rid of that annoyance and eliminate what little chance he had of graduating the academy."_

_"You don't know that! He could actually figure out where he's going wrong. Combine it with some serious cramming, and he could get a decent grade."_

_"Hah! As if! This is Naruto we're talking about! If he had six months and a proper training plan he might get somewhere. With only six weeks? He'd have to literally work night and day or get ridiculously lucky to actually make any improvement. And what are the chances of that? No, he's just going to waste time experimenting instead of actually studying. With any luck, he'll be too embarrassed to talk to us any more after he flunks the final."_

Sakura's guilt only grew worse. But not enough to waste time holding Naruto's hand. She had her own concerns. Like figuring out how to safely use medical chakra. Not to heal, of course. Healing someone else with chakra took months of intensive training. Trying to apply medical chakra without training would at best result in no effect, and at worst give the patient hyper-cancer. And that's leaving out the very real danger of chakra backlash burning out the medic's own coils.

But, as Tanya pointed, hyper-cancer or instant blood poisoning could be incredibly useful against enemies. If Sakura could just figure out how to rapidly shove medical chakra into someone without suffering any backlash, she might be able to mess them up something fierce. Of course, without proper medical training there would be no way of predicting what random applications of medical chakra would do to a person. And getting that medical training was extremely expensive without recommendations from higher up, meaning she would have to wait to get a jounin-sensei before asking. Still, with proper care and careful experimentation, she might have something useful by graduation.

Nodding with determination and putting Naruto out of her mind, Sakura reached into her pack and brought out another apple.


	9. All Seeing Avenger (NarutoMCU)

_This one-shot commissioned by SB user Jesus. Google Doc is available to my __Patrons__._

_Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor MCU_

**All-Seeing Avenger**

The two figures danced across the tatami floor. This was not a dance of gentle grips and whispers, but harsh grunts and flashing hands. Yet for all the latent violence in the knife-hand parries and iron-fingered jabs, there was an undoubted grace in the skimming feet as they circled and stepped for superior position on the field of battle. After some minutes of inconclusive back and forth, the two figures paused for a moment to take stock of each other. Then the met once more, only now they were moving fast enough that merely human eyes could no longer even see their hands beyond the briefest blurs. The warm-up was over.

Soon, assuming the theoretical observer had eyes that could keep up, they would see something beyond the superhuman speed. Flashes of light and blasts of wind started filling the room. The two fighters opened up space until they were standing well beyond arm's reach, yet their bodies still moved as if engaged in the most ferocious close combat. The disturbance reached a crescendo, culminating in a glowing sphere around the male figure, even as a net made of light created a protective barrier in front of the female. The two techniques met with a keening screech, before failing at the same time in a flash of light as a shockwave rattled the room.

As the dust settled and the light faded, it revealed the two fighters a respectful distance apart. The girl was breathing a bit harder, the rise and fall of her generous chest visible even under the loose training gi. She looked in her late teens and stood a five inches above five feet with a curvy figure and strong limbs, flawless pale skin and long midnight black hair that gleamed with health, and a pretty face made exotic by her obvious Japanese heritage. Outside her obvious beauty, her other unusual feature were her eyes, which instead of being the usual Asian black, was a shockingly pale shade of blue.

The boy facing her was young as well, the same age as the girl or slightly older. He was a well-built 5'9", but his features, including hair and eyes, were so very similar to the girl that any who met them would immediately guess them to be brother and sister, maybe even twins. They wouldn't be far wrong, as the two were cousins born to twin brothers. Features that made the girl beautiful did the same for the boy, but coupled with his obvious physical health they made him handsome instead of effeminate. The biggest difference between the two would be in their faces. Whereas the girl's face was expressive, easily given to smiles and laughter, the boy's mouth was a grim line, his features as still as marble.

After the two made the sign of reconciliation formula ending the spar, the girl stood waiting, looking at the boy in askance. After a moment the boy spoke, "Your Defensive Vacuum Palm technique is coming along nicely, Miss Hinata. But it's still a bit sloppy." A slight tilt of the head indicated a spot on the tatami mat, where a thin groove scarred the flooring.

Hinata's face fell. In their household, ki technique sparring took place in the same ordinary rooms as regular sparring, and for exactly this reason. The Hyuga clan took pride in the precision and elegance of their martial arts, and a proper Hyuga was able to unleash their full power without damaging their surroundings. For example, her cousin's side of the dojo was as pristine as before the spar had started.

After a moment of sadness, Hinata's face firmed up. "Not perfect. But still better than last time. And it was good enough to stop your Rotation technique! I'm getting there, Cousin Neji."

"You'd get there faster if you spent more time in the dojo, Miss Hinata."

"There's a fine line between training and obsession, Neji. And for the last time, it's Hinata. None of this Miss nonsense. It's the 21st century, even grandfather doesn't really insist on the old formalities anymore."

"As you wish, Miss Hinata."

Hinata rolled her eyes. Of all things, Neji had to be a fan of The Princess Bride. But underneath her outward show of annoyance, her heart was light as she saw the faint upward tilt to his lips. In spite of the frozen formality that he armored himself in, Neji was slowly coming out of his shell.

His father's loss had devastated the Hyuga clan. One of the strongest recorded masters of their family art, Hizashi Hyuga had died trying to contain the devastation unleashed on New York by the fight between the Hulk and the Abomination. Torn by anger and grief, the young Neji had blamed his father's death not on the monsters, but instead on his father's position as a member of the Hyuga branch family.

In spite of their current position as respectable Japanese-American businessmen (helped by their secret ki powers), the Hyuga family was still organized along lines that stretched back to their Zaibatsu days, and even older feudal roots. One of the foremost traditions was that executive power in the family corporation was wielded by the main family, with the branch family acting as retainers and assistants. And another tradition was that if twins were ever born to the main family, the younger would be immediately relegated to the branch in order to prevent future power struggles. It was this tradition that had placed Hizashi, twin to Hinata's father Hiashi, in the branch family - and which had indirectly led to him being on the front lines trying to hold back the raging beasts even as the rest of the family evacuated. It had been a heroic and honorable death, but that was scant comfort to the orphan son he left behind.

The matter had been made worse by Hinata's father closing himself off from everyone in his own grief. It had taken years of effort on the part of Hinata and her mother and sister to get the two males to open up and reconcile.

Now Neji was slowly regaining the dry humor that Hinata remembered. Hinata stretched and rubbed some of the bruises on her arms. "Well, I'm going out. It's the first day of break, and me and my friends are going to hang out and have fun. Want to come with, cousin?"

"No, thank you. I have some work to see to."

"Oh come on, I know you're on vacation from college. Besides, I know the girls would love to see you again..."

Neji's pale face seemed to grow a shade paler. "I just remembered your father asked me to check the books on the Harlem reconstruction. By your leave, Miss Hinata."

Hinata giggled lightly as Neji sped away as fast as dignity would allow. Then she went to get ready for her outing with her girl friends from high school. This was their last vacation before they were all off to college, and they were all determined to make the most of it.

* * *

"Thor, of course," Hinata said. In her opinion there was no contest, the wild blond hair, the dreamy blue eyes, the powerful physique...

"He's a musclebound idiot," came the repressive response from Tina. The brown haired tanned young girl was a prodigy of their school's archery team, and also an unapologetic tomboy. Tall and athletic, she was the oldest of the four girls present, having been born very early in the school year.

"Excuse me," Hinata responded primly, "I thought we were talking about which hero was the hottest, not the most intelligent."

"Some of us find intelligence attractive, you know?" This statement by their third member Iris was punctuated by an arrogant flip of her long blonde hair. Only daughter to a big name in pharmaceuticals, she played the spoiled princess cheerleader to perfection, but underneath the blonde head was a sharp mind and a keen ear for gossip.

"Says the dumb blonde." That last remark came from their fourth member Sarah. A slim green eyed redhead with girl-next-door looks and a triangular face, Sarah had a volcanic temper and a voracious intellect behind her outwardly shy demeanor.

Iris immediately fired back, "Better dumb than flat as a board with a huge forehead. Are there actual brains behind that thing, or just a swollen ego?"

As Sarah and Iris devolved into bickering for the third time since the group had met, Hinata shared an eye roll with Tina and went back to her milkshake. In spite of the constant sniping, somehow the science nerd and the cheerleader were best friends. Hinata knew for a fact that Iris had decided on attending UCLA only after Sarah had gotten a scholarship to their molecular biology program.

Hinata was honestly a bit sad. After this summer they would all be heading their separate ways, and even with Facebook there's only so much you can do to keep friendships going over a distance. Funny, even though she was eighteen she didn't feel any more grown up. Hopefully -

Hinata jerked up in her seat. Something about the world had changed. All Hyuga were sensitive to ki to a degree, part of their mystic heritage. The strongest of them were marked by the pale blue eyes which allowed them, with training, to peer into the flow of spiritual energy in the world. Hinata discreetly tilted her face away from her friends and focused on her eyes. Unseen by the others, her pale blue eyes turned a solid silver. Walls and obstacles became irrelevant as her vision of the physical world was replaced by the streamers of spiritual power that tied together every living creature and object.

In this state Hinata's vision could see out farther than an eagle, and as she watched she felt grow cold. She was not a master of ki manipulation, but she was learned, and what she was seeing was the world screaming the presence of something foreign, big, and very close.

Before she had to come up with some excuse to leave her friends so she could investigate, the television playing on one side of the cafe solved the mystery for her. A brilliant beam of light shooting up from the Stark tower to open a hole in the sky, and through that hole streamed out thousands upon thousands of creatures. Most bipedal on a variety of flying craft, but along with them were a few massive floating creatures, like giant armored worms.

"The fuck?" That was Iris. She was paging through her smartphone. "An alien invasion at the Stark Tower? Is this a hoax? That's less than ten blocks from here!"

For several minutes, the entire cafe fell silent, as all the patrons could do was stare and the TV or their phones, trying to come to terms with this shocking new development. Then something caught Hinata's mystic sense. Outside the window she saw one of the invader's larger crafts come down to a hard landing. Several armed grey-skinned figures leaped out. And they headed right for the cafe.

"EVERYONE DOWN!" Even as she screamed her warning, Hinata tackled her friends down behind a booth just as a storm of plasma fire swept through the room.

For a moment that lasted an eternity, Hinata watched her friends screaming both physically and metaphysically, their hearts under attack from the sudden horror as much as their bodies from the storm of burning splinters. And then she made her decision.

The Hyuga traditions emphasized secrecy. Their mystic martial arts had allowed the Hyuga significant advantage in accruing wealth and power, but if knowledge of their abilities were to spread that advantage would be halved. As a sop to that secrecy Hinata tore of her shirt and wrapped it around her face. And then she leaped out in defense of her friends.

The closest invader turned to shoot her, but Hinata was already in melee range. A backhand knocked the weapon aside, and then an iron palm slammed into the creature's armored chest.

The armor didn't help. The Hyuga fighting style had been developed to take advantage of their ki sensitivity to attack their enemies on a spiritual level. The killing energy in Hinata's palm reached into the alien's torso, and convinced what passed for its heart to simply stop beating.

The creature's ki patterns were alien indeed, but there were enough similarities for Hinata to do a great deal of damage. She swiftly moved from one invader to the next, stopping hearts and severing nerves.

After a few seconds, the surviving enemies recognized the threat in their midst, and they turned their guns on her as one. That was exactly what Hinata wanted. Every shot fired at her was one not fired at someone defenseless. Cousin Neji might call her technique sloppy, but there was no denying its effectiveness. Streamers of ki emerged from her fingertips to weave a net in front of her, the net's edges sharp on a conceptual level. The net tore through the invader's projectiles, plasma bolts dissipating prematurely in midair. And then the net tore into the invaders.

After dispatching the first batch, Hinata set up a patrol around the cafe. There was nowhere to run, the entire city was under attack. So she instead defended the place that held all her friends, tearing apart any aliens who got close. In between she spared a worry for her family, but they were quite far from the epicenter, and had several fighters more experience than her.

Finally, after who knows how long, the portal closed and the surviving aliens all collapsed. Hinata didn't even question it. Instead, after checking on her friends one last time, she ran off to find her family.

* * *

It was a week after the Chitauri invasion. All her friends and family had come out unharmed. Yet, Hinata was wishing she had died in the invasion. Or even better, never gotten involved in the first place.

The four friends were in Iris' family invasion, in Iris' bedroom. There on the 55" LED TV gracing one wall of Iris' room was a magnified image of Hinata in her heroic glory. One tattered shirt wrapped around her face, tight hip-hugging Lycra pants, and absolutely nothing in between but a skimpy black bra.

Iris was using the remote to point out parts of the image like a lecturer with a chart. "As you can see, apart from the long black hair and the body type and height that matches our friend, there is also the damning evidence of the breasts. How many girls can there be in this city of that age with breasts that big and that perky? Seriously, how the hell are those even real?! But the final clincher..." And here, to Hinata's mortification, Iris actually tapped on the chest of her image, "There is a beauty mark on the upper part of her left chest. A mark that Hinata herself bears, as I can testify by virtue of having shared a locker room with her for three years!"

Tina casually raised a hand. "Yeah, I seen it too in swim class."

"And thus!" declared Iris dramatically as she pointed the remote at Hinata like the finger of doom. "It is proven beyond a shadow of doubt that this masked big-breasted heroine is none other than our mild-mannered friend Hinata Hyuga!"

Hinata groaned and buried her face in her hands as Sarah just looked on while munching popcorn. "All right, I admit it, just stop talking about my... that!"

"Of course, the bigger question now is how the hell you tore those critters apart like that," observed Sarah.

Hinata looked up and took a deep breath. "All right, let's get something straight. You guys cannot tell ANYONE, got it? The skills I used have been in my family for generations, and they're very big on secrecy. Not. One. Word. Capice?"

"My lips are sealed," said Iris, with Tina and Sarah adding their own voices to the vow of silence.

"Thank you," sighed Hinata. "Now can we please change the channel to something else?"

"Sure. But I don't really know how long your family's going to stay out of it. I mean, you are one of the hottest things on the internet," remarked Iris.

"What?" Hinata could feel the blood draining from her face.

"Oh yeah, lots of people caught your little one-girl crusade. You're the most trending thing after that new Avengers superhero team that just got announced, and most people are convinced you're a new member who hadn't gotten her costume yet." Iris had an evil grin as she manipulated the image on the TV through her phone. "In fact, they've already come up with a name for you, and it's caught on like crazy."

Hinata could only stare in horror as her so-called friends laughed and cheered. It was the same revealing image as earlier, only now it was on a major news site and above it was a huge headline: **"The G-Cup Avenger."**


	10. Shoulder Devil moved!

Shoulder Devil has accrued enough chapters to deserve it's own story. It (along with the latest chapter 4) has been moved to:

/ s/13489181/1/Shoulder-Devil


	11. Martian Crusade 3 (YS-War of the Worlds)

**Martian Crusade Ch. 3**

**Imperial Military HQ, Berun, The Empire, August 1925**

Major General Rudersdorf exchanged a glance with his old friend, ally, and comrade-in-arms Major General Zettour as the briefing drew to a close. Even though their department had gathered the bulk of the information that Colonel Lergen was even now presenting to the gathered members of Imperial Military Command, he had a hard time accepting the conclusions contained therein.

Aliens! Honest to God aliens straight out of a Jules Verne novel! Although he had heard Lergen muttering about someone named Lovecraft... Shaking his head, Rudersdorf turned his attention back to the meeting as Lergen made his closing remarks. "In summary gentlemen, these creatures of unknown provenance have shown themselves skilled in magic, greatly advanced in technology, and implacably hostile to all they meet. The 203rd is doing its best, but it is clear these creatures are present in such numbers as to be beyond the abilities of any single mage battalion. If our allies are to control the Libyan hinterland, they will have to make a major military commitment - one in which we will most likely be required to contribute."

A soft murmur broke out as people quietly discussed the situation with their neighbors. Normally, the suggestion that any significant resource commitment be made to aid the Ildoans in holding the Libyan interior would be viewed with skepticism. While the port of Tripolis was valuable, the interior of the colony had hitherto been considered a hot deserted hellhole. The aid of the 203rd was more than enough to secure Tripolis, and the Empire would have normally left the Ildoans to deal with the interior. Unfortunately...

"The reports are confirmed then? These creatures have managed to dig up oil in the Libyan desert?" asked a lieutenant-general.

Oil! The proverbial black gold! It was the Achilles' heel of their glorious Empire that they needed to rely almost entirely on imports to fuel their industrial might and military machines. To make matters worse, in recent months their chief supplier the Unified States had shown signs of wavering in their neutrality. In such a situation, the discovery of oil in the territory of their ally would have been a godsend. A shame then, that this oil was being dug up and consumed by hideous monsters from beyond the stars.

"As certain as we can be without examining the area ourselves," replied Lergen. "None of the 203rd are engineers, but the images they recorded are extremely suggestive."

"It would certainly support the reports we're getting from elsewhere," broke in a Colonel from Military Intelligence. "These creatures have been sighted in almost every continent other than Europe, and each sighting corresponds to some sort of valuable resource - many of them previously undiscovered. For example, large portions of Central Africa are practically overrun with these things. The copper regions of Francois Congo and Albish Rhodesia are reportedly under constant assault. At the same time, these aliens have also been sighted in the northern parts of our own East African colony."

"Really? What's there?" someone asked.

The Intelligence Officer grimaced. "We don't know. Much of our colony is untouched by civilization. But if this pattern holds true, then there's something valuable down there, and these aliens are busy robbing us blind."

"Is that why these creatures are here then?" asked a naval officer. "To steal our natural resources?"

"It does bear an ironic similarity, does it not, to Europe's own colonization efforts?" mused Zettour. "Go in, displace the natives, exploit the land for your own needs... Given the disparity in technology, perhaps our world is their version of Africa."

"What disturbs me," said the Navy man, "Is how these creatures knew to find all of these things. We live here, and we didn't know! Just how long would they have been planning for this invasion?" He turned and addressed Zettour directly. "Your young Major Degurechaff might have a point when she suggested we put aside our differences and join hands with the other world powers in evicting these aliens. These things know way too much about us for my peace of mind!"

"Bah! That brat is just being alarmist! A few ugly monsters and she'[s running scared instead of focusing on the enemy at hand!" Rudersdorf refrained from glaring at the source of the voice. The former commander of the Norden theater was still smarting from the way Degurechaff had shredded his plans for a winter offensive - and even more when he realized his superiors had actually agreed with the diminutive Major and had only allowed the attack to proceed in order to use him as a distraction. The man continued, "Right now, those things are mostly running amuck in Central Asia and Africa. Well, I say let them! Most of that is Francois, Albish, or Russy territory! If they want our help, they can come crawling to us! In the meantime, we need to see to our own needs. We need to take care of the damn Francois!"

"Yes, quite," agreed the Marshall. "The Republican intransigence is becoming something of an embarrassment."

Rudersdorf didn't bother hiding his grimace. Defense Minister de Lugo's retreat to Africa had caught everyone by surprise. Almost a fifth of the Francois Republic's army and over half of their aerial mages had joined the expedition, and just last week the bastard had made a widely publicized speech declaring his willingness to fight to the bitter end rather than admit defeat as any sane person should. The whole incident had been deeply embarrassing for both Western Theater Command and Military Intelligence, and hard questions were being asked as to how such a massive evacuation could have been permitted. Then his grimace turned into a scowl as General Louis spoke, "Perhaps we can kill two birds with one stone."

Perhaps it was irrational of him, but ever since Louis had pushed through the invasion of Legadonia against his and Zettour's advice, Rudersdorf had been holding a grudge against the man. Yes, the war had gone remarkably well so far, but considering the Empire hadn't wanted an all-out war in the first place, Rudersdorf couldn't look on that decision as anything other than a disaster. Now he braced himself for whatever the man's latest suggestion might be.

General Louis stood up to address the meeting room as a whole. "The Francois resistance in Africa means we would have had to prepare an expeditionary force anyway to pursue our enemies. I suggest we increase the forces we were planning to commit, and base them out of Libya. That way they can be in position to both reinforce the Ildoans and take the fight to the Francois."

"That's absurd!" barked Rudersdorf. "You would ask the expeditionary force to split their attention between two objectives, and you would weaken our Continental forces at a time when both the Albish and the Russy are looking restive!"

Louis calmly replied, "The Albish are a naval power, they don't have the land forces to challenge us. And several of the suspected alien landing sites are in the middle of Russy territory. They will have their hands full with their own batch of alien intruders, they're not going to entertain any foreign adventures."

"Oh? Just like how none of our neighbors would dare to attack us while we took on the Legadonians?" came his acid response.

Louis flushed furiously at the reminder. But instead of snapping and weakening his position, he continued to be calm and measured in his response. "Now that the fighting on the continent is over, we can afford up to five panzer divisions without unduly stressing our defense plans. That should be sufficient both to reinforce the Ildoans and carry out offensive operations against the Francois."

Zettour broke in at this point. "Five panzer divisions would cut our strategic reserve to nothing. You are literally hoping absolutely nothing will go wrong in Europe to commit that many mobile forces to such a distant theater. Besides, supplying them will likely become an issue. No matter what you think of their ability on land, the Albish Royal Navy remains undefeated on water. Should they choose to formally enter the war, any forces in Africa will be in real danger of being cut off." The man affected a thinking pose before continuing, "No, if you want mobile forces in Africa, a few mage battalions might be a better option. Given the kind of weapons these aliens seem to prefer, mages are probably our best bet at dealing with them effectively. They can also be easily returned to the continent should the need arise."

_Zettour, what are you doing?_ While Rudersdorf could accept Zettour's point that mage battalions would be far easier to support logistically than more conventional forces, mages were also the Empire's most irreplaceable resources. They already had the 203rd in Africa, stationing even more to that distant territory would greatly weaken magical coverage over their homeland.

Others could see the same thing. The general in charge of the mage corps spoke up, "My mages are overcommitted as it is! How will we maintain our defense of the Fatherland if we send even more to Africa?"

"We can cover the gaps using conventional aircraft," replied Zettour. "Please remember, with the exception of the 203rd, fighter aircraft still remain the best counter to enemy mages, and they can also be used for artillery spotting work."

"So, you think we can reduce our conventional force commitment if we increase the number of mages?" asked the Marshall.

"Yes, but only under certain conditions. The fact is, few of our mage battalions are used to being deployed in large independent formations, they are usually attached to infantry and artillery as support units. Should we assign them to Africa, they would need to be placed under the command of someone used to commanding mages in large numbers."

Rudersdorf barely bit back a groan. He should have known his cunning old friend would use this as an opportunity to further promote his _wunderkind_. He knew Zettour had a granddaughter the same age as Degurechaff, but the way the man doted on the Major, you would think she were his granddaughter in truth!

The suggestion immediately drew objections. To no one's surprise, Colonel Lergen led the charge in pointing out that not only was the girl yet to turn twelve, but she had only been a Lieutenant a year ago. Zettour countered by pointing out that any African force would be torn between two disparate objectives - reconquering Libya from the aliens and attacking the Francois in their African strongholds. Unless they were willing to create two entirely separate forces, which had its own issues, any mages assigned to the venture would need a centralized command so they could be deployed most effectively according to the evolving needs of the battlefield.

"What about South America, though?" broke in someone else. "Brasilia and Gran Colombia are both friends to the Empire, and they have been hit hard by these invaders as well!" And that opened a whole new can of worms.

The meeting lasted far too long, but in the end they reached a decision.

Major Degurechaff's notion of presenting a united front against the aliens was dismissed almost immediately. The current situation was far more damaging to the Empire's rivals, and until the Francois could be brought to heel and a proper peace treaty signed, the other European powers could deal with the aliens on their won.

Abandoning South America was a more contentious decision, but after two years of brutal war no one wanted to ship soldiers halfway around the world to a fight that was not theirs. They did however agree to start shipping their South American friends their older guns, tanks and artillery pieces as a gesture of goodwill.

Then came the issue of Africa. Everyone agreed something had to be done, but the real argument was where and how much. A strong minority believed that the Empire should secure their East African colony against alien depredation, but more sensible heads dismissed the suggestion. The colony was too remote to easily reinforce, and too underdeveloped to easily operate in. The Empire had no choice but to surrender the territory for now.

Libya on the other hand had to be held. Not only was it relatively close, but the temptation of alleviating their perennial oil shortage could not be ignored. General Louis got four divisions for his African campaign - two light panzer, one motorized infantry, and one light division of self-propelled artillery. For its small size, it was one of the more powerful concentrations of mobile firepower put together over the course of the war. Given the alien invader's reliance on automation, energy weapons, and toxic gases, regular infantry and fixed artillery were deemed less than ideal and left out of the muster. The primary objective would be to secure the Libyan hinterland, before sweeping into Francois North Africa and putting paid to Pierre de Lugo's army-in-exile.

Of course, in exchange for supporting Louis, Zettour got his own little deal. Two mage battalions - 72 mages - would be sent to reinforce the 203rd, and his protege Degurechaff would receive a brevet promotion to Lt. Colonel and be placed in charge, her rank to be confirmed later depending on her performance. Even more importantly, Degurechaff would maintain her independent command. Normally tactical control of air forces was in the hand of the local army commander, but now all aerial mages would report to a single independent authority. While Degurechaff would be expected to cooperate with the ground forces, it would be up to her how she went about fulfilling her objectives. Rudersdorf knew the idea of an independent Air Force had originated from Degurechaff, and he wondered just how much of his friend's thinking was being influenced by the girl.

Still, that was neither there nor here. The decision had been made, and the forces were being mustered. He just hoped Degurechaff was being paranoid when in her missives she described the aliens as an existential threat to all of humanity, rather than the raiders and looters they appeared to be.


	12. Dragon of the Spring (NarutoWorm)

_A\N: Short commission series by my patron Weise_

**_Summary:_**_ As Sakura grows older, she starts developing instincts and desires that seem a bit out of place for a trainee ninja and daughter of merchants. That, and a strange burning strength flowing under her skin..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Worm_

**Dragon of the Spring Ch. 1**

"Better a large forehead than a tiny brain."

Ino didn't bother holding back her laugh. She'd already been heading over to intervene when she saw that nasty brat Ami and her two friends laying into the quiet pink-haired girl. Yes, the girl did have a larger forehead than normal (not to mention an unusual hair color) but that was hardly any reason to act like complete jerks on the very first week of the Academy! And now, Ino was very glad she had. Anyone who could deliver a zinger like that even when surrounded was someone Ino wanted to know better.

Ami and her two friends immediately bristled like angry cats. "What did you just say, big-head?!"

"Why, are you deaf as well? Or does your tiny brain mean you can't understand human speech?" Even as she continued to rile them up in the same deadpan tone, the pink-haired girl was clenching her fists and squaring her stance, clearly unafraid of the three-to-one odds.

Smirking, Ino stepped into the group's bubble. "Well, well. Starting trouble already, Ami? I wonder, though, if you'll be so brave against someone who's not alone."

Ami hissed on seeing her. "This isn't your business, Ino!"

"I'm making it my business. What are you going to do about it?"

Ino did not consider herself a combat prodigy. She was however the daughter of the head of a major clan, and Ami knew it. Being pretty and popular and confident and all-round amazing didn't hurt either. Facing the girl who was already on her way to being their class' queen bee, Ami and her minions beat a hasty retreat.

The pink-haired girl observed them go, before facing Ino. "I could have handled them."

Ino's flippant comeback died in her throat. Something about the girl told her that she meant every word. Unconsciously taking a more formal stance, Ino said, "I'm sure you could have, but isn't this faster? Besides, now you won't get into trouble for fighting."

"I suppose." The girl started to relax, then blinked and hurriedly bent into a bow. "Oh my goodness, where are my manners?! I am Sakura Haruno! It is a pleasure to meet you! Thank you for helping me!"

And that was Ino's introduction to her best (and oddest) friend in the whole world.

Ino quickly realized that in her natural state, Sakura was a sweet shy girl who wouldn't hurt a fly. But when something riled her up? It was almost like a Transformation technique the way Sakura turned into a cold confident personality with an aura of suppressed violence.

Being the heiress to a clan of mental manipulators, Ino was aware of multiple personalities and other mental aberrations. This wasn't that. Sakura never had any memory problems or lost track of what she was doing. It was as if she developed the attitude of someone with overwhelming force at their disposal. Which should have looked absurd on a small pink-haired girl, but somehow didn't. Ino's father was the head of Torture and Interrogation, she knew better than most the importance of body language. Angry Sakura simply had an instinctive understanding of how to project intimidation.

Where the daughter of civilian merchants could have picked up such an instinct was a mystery that puzzled Ino no end. But that didn't mean she couldn't learn from it. Or that she couldn't teach Sakura how to project that confidence consciously, instead of only when she was angry. As a result, by the age of eight, the duo had cemented their positions as the untouchable queens of their academy year. It helped that Sakura had an intellect and work ethic that let her ace the theoretical work.

It was also in the third year in the academy that Ino first started to realize that her friend may have the strength to back up her attitude. It was in this year that they started full contact sparring.

Now, Ino knew Sakura was stronger than she looked. She never slacked off in training, and she could keep up with the major clan children in physical exercises. Still, Ino was slightly worried when, in a twist of fate, Sakura got put up against Ami in her very first spar.

Over the last two years, Ami had continued to take verbal potshots at Sakura whenever she could get away with it, but seemed unwilling to start a physical confrontation in front of Ino. Now, though, she was being given official permission to thrash Sakura, and she leaped on the chance with both feet.

Initially, Ami had the edge. Sakura's taijutsu might be textbook, but Ami was bigger, stronger, and had a lot more experience brawling. In the first few exchanges, Ami managed to land some solid hits that staggered Sakura. Then the tide turned.

In front of Ino's eyes, Sakura seemed to start moving faster and with more confidence. Slowly, with an air of inevitability, Sakura at first equaled, then started to overwhelm the bigger girl. The end, when it came, was swift. Ami threw a punch at Sakura's torso. Sakura took the hit and ignored it entirely, instead driving forward with a right cross that flattened her opponent.

Ino cheered and hugged her friend, then pulled back in surprise. "Sakura, you're burning up! Are you sick?"

"What? No! I feel great! It's probably from the sparring. You know I run hot."

Ino nodded. She did know that Sakura's body always seemed warmer than a normal person. It's why Ino loved cuddling with her in cold weather. Mentally shrugging, Ino dismissed the elevated body temperature as unimportant. After all, it was already going back to normal.

As the years went by, though, Ino did notice something. If the teachers didn't stop the spar early, as long as the fight lasted long enough... Sakura _always_ won.


	13. Dragon of the Spring 2 (NarutoWorm)

_A\N: Chapter commissioned by Weise. I own neither Worm nor Naruto._

**Dragon of the Spring Ch. 2**

It was the day after she had passed the academy's final exam and put on the forehead protector that marked her as a shinobi of Konoha. Sakura sat in the classroom and pondered on the identity of her teammates. Honestly speaking, it could have been worse, but that was cold comfort at best.

Naruto Uzumaki... Sakura didn't have much of an opinion of him, other than 'noisy'. The blond prankster had been wise enough never to target her for one of his pranks, and so she'd never really given him much thought other than coolly rebuffing his over-friendly overtures. Thankfully for his continued health, he'd turned his attentions elsewhere. Sakura had no idea how a quiet and refined girl like Hinata could stand to be around such a loudmouth, but puppy love covereth a multitude of sins. But while she might not care for him one way or another, that did not mean she wanted the class clown as a teammate. Especially since he'd failed the finals, and had probably only been allowed on a team after he passed some make-up test or something.

Sasuke Uchiha on the other hand, Sakura did have feelings for, and they were overwhelmingly negative. Her best friend Ino had a crush on the boy, and Ino's enduring obsession had greatly cut into their time together. A part deep inside Sakura did not like that one bit. Ino was _hers_. Even worse, though, was the way Sasuke looked at his classmates, her and Ino included.

_He thinks we are beneath him._

Sakura tried to make allowances for the tragedy that had befallen the boy, but at the end of the day, it didn't matter. Sakura couldn't put it into words, but it was disturbing how much anger came at the mere thought of being disrespected.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura tried to calm herself. Hopefully her sensei would be someone she could work with. Once they started their duties as ninja, she could prove herself while ignoring the other two, and all would be well.

* * *

She had been wrong. Her sensei was, if possible, even more condescending than Sasuke! First he was hours late to their first team meeting. Then he was deliberately vague and confusing during introductions. Then he suggested that the test he was going to give them was so hard she would throw up! Sakura had a big breakfast just to spite him, and it was lucky she had because he was over three hours late! Again!

The test itself was an obvious ploy to pit the three genin against each other. Only two bells for three ninja, and the one who can't snatch one from him flunks? He must have a really low opinion of their intelligence. Unfortunately, events were proving him right. Naruto was too thick, and Sasuke too arrogant to realize that he was too strong for them to overcome individually.

Admittedly, it was amusing watching how he handled the boys. Her plan had been to wait until they got their asses beat, then approach them with an offer of alliance while they were licking their wounds.

All that went out of the window when Kakashi hit her with a genjutsu.

The sight of Ino, battered and bloody, had triggered a flood of rage that had swept all plans and stratagems aside. The sudden rush of burning power had popped the illusion like a soap bubble, but Sakura didn't care. That bastard had dared show her the death of her most precious person! That would never happen! She would not let it happen!

Her suddenly razor sharp senses had told her where her sensei was located. That was all Sakura needed. With a scream of rage she launched herself at her enemy.

* * *

Kakashi could admit to feeling disappointed earlier. Neither his sensei's son nor Obito's kin had shown the basic understanding of what it meant to be a Konoha shinobi. As for the pink-haired girl, he hadn't really thought much about her. Now he was wondering if he ought to have read Sakura Haruno's file more carefully. Surely it mentioned the propensity for berserker rages?

Her newfound speed and strength was certainly impressive for a genin, and judging by her growls her anger had been triggered by whatever the genjutsu had shown her. Which was fair, the Hell Viewing Technique was meant to trigger a fight or flight response, and she seemed to have landed on 'fight'. But the problem was that she was fighting a LOT harder than what her academy results had indicated. And if he wasn't mistaken, she was only getting stronger and faster as the fight progressed.

Kakashi put on a burst of speed and delivered a hard fist to her solar plexus. No anger could overcome the need to breathe.

It worked. For ten seconds. Then she was back on her feet and breathing fire. That last wasn't a euphemism, she was literally breathing fire, which was an interesting trick without any visible hand signs. There was also a massive heat radiating from the rest of her body, so hot it actually made close combat uncomfortable. Oh, and she was now strong and fast enough to equal most chunin. That was a thing, too.

Deciding the situation required more observation, Kakashi left behind a shadow clone to fight her while he Flickered out of combat. It was a maneuver he had done before, so practiced only a jounin should have been able to spot it. The girl spotted it. And tried to give chase before being distracted by the attacking shadow clone.

_Heightened senses too?_ Kakashi decided to dip into his bag of ANBU tricks for defeating enemy trackers. By the time he had concealed himself adequately, the heat around Sakura was enough start setting the grass on fire. Each time the clone hit her with what should be a knockout blow, it only slowed her for a few seconds before she came back even stronger and hotter.

By this time, Kakashi was beginning to fear for her health. He didn't know what bloodline or kinjutsu she was using, but that much radiant heat could not be good for a human body. As an experiment, he dismissed his shadow clone. As soon as he did, Sakura started looking for his real body. But he was ANBU, and her senses could not penetrate his concealment. As he watched, the girl seemed to grow calmer. The heat dissipated. The hard scale-like pattern that had appeared on her skin slowly faded. After five minutes, all that remained was a young girl, breathing hard and swaying with exhaustion.

It was at this point that Kakashi used every ounce of speed and skill to deliver a knockout blow to a pressure point on Sakura's neck. The girl collapsed. After a long tense minute, Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief as Sakura continued to stay down. Looking around, he rubbed his head. The test was a bust. He needed to get the girl to a hospital, then question her carefully as to what had happened, then report to the Hokage. From what he recalled, she was the only ninja in her immediate family, meaning it would probably land on him to guide her through what looked a lot like a new bloodline, if only to minimize the number of people who knew.

Sighing, he created another shadow clone to let the boys know their teammate was injured and the test was cancelled, then he picked up the girl and took off. _I knew I shouldn't have complained to Kurenai yesterday about being bored._


	14. Resurrection (Star Wars)

_This story idea proposed and commissioned by my patron __Jesus (Not a joke, that is his username)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars_

**Resurrection**

When one is a Jedi Master, one is used to both encountering and performing miracles involving the Force on a semi-regular basis. But Qui-Gon Jinn had to admit, waking up seemingly alive and well after being run through by a Sith's lightsaber was somewhat outside the norm. Considering that when he woke up not only was he still in his Jedi robes (minus the entry and exit holes) and still carrying everything he had on him when he fell (including the lightsaber that he remembered dropping), he could be forgiven for believing the lightless cave he found himself in to be some sort of Force-induced vision of the afterlife.

In fact, now that he thought about it, dark caves did seem to feature rather prominently in Jedi vision quests. As a result of this confusion, he spent an embarrassingly long time sitting in that sealed cave before he realized that he might not actually be dead.

Qui-Gon wasn't sure how long he'd sat in the dark, meditating on the Force and waiting for the next stage in the vision. It might have been days. Eventually, he ran out of the little emergency water and rations he had been carrying, and he got tired of the unending dark. Once he did turn his mind to seeking a way out instead of simply waiting for the Force to come to him, his senses immediately guided him to the plug sealing the cave, and Master Jinn started to suspect he might have just wasted a whole lot of time.

Forcing the plug out took a bit of doing, but soon he was out into the fresh air. Well, fresher air. As he activated an emergency glow rod, Qui-Gon realized the cave he had been in was one of many. It took him a few minutes to explore some of the others, but the results were clear - against all odds or reason, the Force had seen fit to return him to life in the middle of a cemetery, on what he suspected was a completely different planet. Naboo did not bury people in sealed caves, and his last wishes had included a request for cremation. Even the Gungans were unlikely to be responsible - wherever he was, it was far too dry.

By the time he found his way out of the cemetery, it was late in the evening. He headed towards where he sensed some people, but they took one look at him emerging from the burial grounds and took off running. Qui-Gon couldn't understand what they were saying, but he could feel their fear. Those people must have been soldiers of some sort, because they left behind weapons and shields when they fled. The Jedi frowned as he looked down at the primitive iron shields and spears. A primitive world might explain the fear caused by seeing someone emerge from a place of the dead, but it also meant finding his way off and back to civilization just became exponentially harder. At least the natives were human, so he wouldn't have too much difficulty blending in.

Trusting himself to the force, Qui-Gon Jinn put one foot in front of the other and started walking.

* * *

Thanks to the Force, he was able to make himself understood to the locals in spite of not really knowing the language. In just a few days, Qui-Gon had determined that the locals possessed no technology more complex than iron tools and weapons. This was particularly problematic as he himself was not the most mechanically inclined of Jedi. Young Anakin might have improvised something in a matter of hours, but the best idea Qui-Gon could come up with was finding some way to boost the signal from his hand-held communicator and hope a passing spaceship heard him.

Most of the components for this plan came from dismantling his own lightsaber, but sourcing the few bits of refined metal that he needed to complete his task took weeks. In that time, he was both helped and hindered by the reaction of the locals to his presence.

Judging by the fear, awe, and sense of recognition that he seemed to inspire in many of those he spoke to, Qui-Gon began to suspect that a Jedi or some other Force user had been by this planet relatively recently. Certainly, the way they would come to him for healing and advice was reminiscent of how some other less advanced cultures would treat visiting Jedi.

The language barrier remained an issue - whatever language the locals spoke, it was so divergent from Galactic Basic that in spite of his best efforts, even after weeks he was only at the fluency of a child. In order to maintain the dignity of the Order and not sound like a toddler, Qui-Gon relied on his Force presence, body language, and empathy to make himself understood. If it gave him a mysterious and charismatic aura - well, as he'd often tried to explain to his padawan, sometimes diplomacy meant putting on a bit of an act.

All the respect was useful as it made getting the few pieces he need much simpler. But he also ended up developing a bit of a following. In particular and group of young men and one young woman seemed to be peculiarly obsessed with him. The feeling he got from them was somewhat similar to the devotion of a padawan for their Master, only much stronger. They weren't the only ones either, just the most persistent. Who knew that a bit of Force Healing and a few lectures containing generally good life advice could garner this much attention?

Fearing that he may have inadvertently started a cult of some kind, Qui-Gon took to moving around all over the place. By this time his boosted communicator was sending out its distress signal and the Force was reassuring him he was on the right track. Since a spaceship wouldn't care where on the planet he was, he decided to keep walking to avoid his newfound fans.

Unfortunately for him, it seemed gossip of his presence had spread rather quickly, and his own sense of responsibility wouldn't let him turn away those who came to him for help and advice. He did however avoid meeting with whatever passed for the local government - here the Force sent a faint warning that trying to meet with the rulers of this place would cause unnecessary difficulty. Presumably they wouldn't care for an interloper developing his own following among the people.

In this manner, many days passed (a day on this planet, he noted, was very close to Galactic Standard). Qui-Gon would move from one place to the next to avoid those who sought him most avidly, while at the same time helping those who needed it. Finally, forty days after he broke out of the tomb, someone responded to his signal. He did not recognize the polity the ship claimed to hail from, but at least the pilot spoke Galactic Basic.

He made arrangements to meet the ship at a small village on the eastern slope of a hill, near one of the largest settlements in the region. By the time the ship arrived, his presence had once more drawn a following. As a result, he had to deal with the sight of them bowing and scraping and praying to their gods as the transport came into view.

Feeling a bit guilty for their fear, he exuded a calming aura, even as he did his best to explain to them that the time had come for him to leave. The resulting outpouring of sadness was flattering, but Qui-Gon was swift in making his farewells. There was reason for urgency. The few words he'd shared with the ship's captain had told him a great deal of time had passed since his death. He needed to see what had become of the Galaxy at large, and seek out whatever purpose the Force had for bringing him back to the land of the living.

As the transport took him away from this primitive but pleasant world, Qui-Gon smiled indulgently at the people scattering away. He wondered if the sight of a flying vessel might lead to some odd beliefs or superstitions. From what he'd been able to tell, the local culture had two primary belief systems, one monotheistic and one polytheistic, and the interactions between the two had certainly led to some interesting effects on individual faith.

As the world receded, he realized there was one last little puzzle that he still hadn't managed to figure out. As he slowly grew more fluent in the language, he'd realized that the locals had been largely ignoring him when he identified himself either by his name or by his title of Jedi Master. Instead, they seemed to have almost immediately settled on their own identifier for him, and one by which they persisted in calling him right up to the end. Qui-Gon Jinn just knew he'd spend forever wondering what sort of title was Yeshua et Nazaret.


	15. Once More unto the Breach (YS XCOM)

_Another commission by __Jesus_

_Also, __jacobk__, author of __A Young Woman's Political Record__, finally has a __Pat Reon__! And he's promised 2 chapters a week if he gets to $250! I'm already contributing, but please tip as well if you want to see even more of our favorite armor-piercing cinnamon roll Chancellor!_

_**Summary:**__Tanya has done a lot. Soldier, chancellor, president. Now, almost a hundred years old, she is pulled into yet another role: XCOM Commander._

**Once More unto the Breach**

**February 12, 2012, Wien, Germanian Union**

I sat in the beautiful garden, admiring the distant hills. Next to me sat the love of my life. And she was dying. A progressive motor neuron disease. The same or similar to what had afflicted the physicist Stephen Hawking in my previous life. _Strange, the odd facts that stick in one's head, even after so long_. The disease had been diagnosed three months ago, and the doctors gave her at best another two years to live.

Some tried to console me by saying that Visha had had a good run. She had recently celebrated her 103rd birthday after all, and no one lives forever. To them I say, watch your closest one die, and you'll realize that seventy years together isn't enough. Seven hundred wouldn't be enough. To my shame, I found myself voicing the complaint that I'd always looked down on others for making. "It's not fair."

"Maybe not," said Visha, turning to me with a smile. "But you're going to say yes anyway."

Ah, she misunderstood. She thought I was talking about the unexpected job offer rather than her health. I decided to accept the new topic rather than continue wallowing. "Why should I? I gave them ten years as a soldier, twenty years as Chancellor, and another twenty as President. And even after I left they kept dragging me back every few months for every little thing. And now they want me to waste what little time we have left fighting yet another war? Enough is enough!"

As I finished my rant I turned to focus on Visha. Her shoulder-length hair was grey and wispy, her skin spotted and sagging, her face lined, and she was confined to a wheelchair. For a centennial she looked very good, not a day over seventy-five. The fact that I thought her beautiful was all the proof I needed that love is indeed blind. She now turned to me with fond exasperation and said, "You and I both know you can't stand to be idle. Besides, you can't pretend this is unimportant. As ridiculous as it may sound, their evidence is compelling. Aliens from outer space are attacking us for seemingly no rhyme or reason, and I at least can't think of anyone else they could have chosen to lead the counterattack."

"Oh, I don't know, how about someone who isn't turning 99 this year?" I asked sarcastically. "Seriously, what are the younger generations doing, if I'm the best they can come up with? Besides, fighting futile battles is a young man's game. I had my fill of that during the First Great War."

"You think this is futile?"

"If they really are extraterrestrials, then it means they have interstellar travel. Which, in turn, means they could wipe us out whenever they wanted by dropping a sufficiently heavy rock. If they haven't, it's because they want something from us. And if we manage to deny them, then they just might move to the 'rocks fall, everyone dies' option."

"And so you would meekly submit and accept whatever fate they have in store for us?" The sarcasm in her voice told me how little she believed that.

I sighed. "I'm not saying that. But... we have so little time left... and I'm not willing to give up on a cure! I can't let anything distract me..." I could feel my anger and fear rising. I still refused to accept Visha's fate. We lived in a world of magic! Over the last several decades the combination of science and magic had allowed this world to achieve miracles of technology and medicine far beyond my original. I was certain that a cure could be found. I -

"Tanya." The uncharacteristically sharp tone in Visha's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "You know as well as I that the best minds in medicine are already looking into the matter." Her smile was now sad. "They will either succeed or they won't. You have already done everything you can for me. Now, it is time to worry about you."

"About me? I'm not the one who's sick! I'm perfectly fine!" I was too. Whether it was because I was a stronger mage or had started younger, but if Visha looked in her seventies then I did not look beyond my sixties. I was as healthy as a sixty-year-old could expect to be, too. I could easily look forward to another ten or twenty years, and I refused to spend those years without Visha.

"So, spending sixteen hours a day studying medical texts and scouring the internet is fine, is it?" Visha sighed. "Don't think I haven't noticed. This retirement is a curse, it's giving you too much free time. At this rate you'll drive yourself mad long before this disease claims me. You need a distraction, something to occupy yourself." She took my hand in a grip that trembled just a little bit. "You need something to keep you going if the worst should happen."

"The worst? Visha, did you hear something - ?"

"Don't panic. There's been no news. But you know that two years is only a best-case prognosis. Depending on how rapidly it progresses, I could be gone in six months. No, don't argue, you know it's possible. And if that should happen... what will you do, I wonder?"

I had no words, I could only grip her hand tightly in despair. Seventy years together. Almost ninety if you count from when we first met. I'd had Visha in my life, one way or another, for almost two-thirds of my existence, even if you count my first life before Being X threw me into this world. Sometimes, throughout the chaos and confusion of my decades of political leadership, Visha had been the only thing that had kept me grounded and sane. I literally could not imagine a life without her, any more than I could have imagined meeting someone like her in the first place.

Some of my feelings must have shown on my face, because she smiled and squeezed back my hand. "This is why, Tanya. If I am to go, I need to know you're taken care of. And the best way to do that is to give you a purpose. An enemy to fight." Her smile grew mischievous. "Admit it, you were already coming up with tactics to deal with the enemies they described. I could see the wheels spinning in your head. I bet if it wasn't for this illness, you'd be jumping at the chance no matter how much you might pretend otherwise."

That was perhaps the one persistent misunderstanding in our relationship. Visha refused to accept that I was at heart a peace-loving person. She was convinced I pretended to be peace-loving because that was what a good person was supposed to be, whereas secretly I apparently thrived on conflict. Utterly absurd, but I did understand enough about romance to know that sometimes you have to let your partner keep their little illusions. If Visha wanted to believe I was secretly as much a battle maniac as her, who was I to argue? I still had to respond though. "This, coming from the woman who was still beating me on the rifle range six months back? I bet you want me to sign up just so you can live vicariously through me!" I teased.

"Maybe I do. Then won't you do this for me? Please? A last request?"

I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous Visha looked batting her eyelashes at me. Then I sobered up. "Fine I'll do it. But are you OK having to move away from here and into a military bunker?" I looked up and once more admired our surroundings. Wien's District 13 was one of the most exclusive and expensive residential locations in an already beautiful city. The villa and land had been a surprise present from the Germanian Worker's Party's leadership after my retirement from the Presidency. At the time, I'd been worried the gift would trigger accusations of corruption, but seeing Visha fall in love with the place at first sight had kept me from donating it to charity like I had for many other excessive gifts I'd received over the decades. Thankfully, between our savings, various book royalties (even though they kept misclassifying my autobiography as fiction), and the odd sponsorship, we had enough income to keep up the kind of lifestyle that a house like this dictated.

I confess I'd gotten used to luxury, and I felt a pang at leaving it behind for whatever military installation awaited us. Visha had no such hesitation. "I am. Besides, military bases always have top-notch medical care. And since you'll be the boss, there'll be no shortage of people to look after me while you're working."

"As if I'd leave you behind in your room," I scoffed, even as I stood up and took the arms of her wheelchair. "You might be stuck in this chair, but there's nothing wrong with your mind. How can I fight a war without my faithful adjutant?"

Her smile was radiant. And she called me the war maniac, hah! "How did that Albish poet it?" mused Visha, "'Once more unto the breach'?"

I scoffed as I wheeled her into the living room. "Henry V died at the wrong time and left political chaos behind. Let's aim a bit higher, yeah?" Looking up, I glared coolly at the three soldiers waiting inside. Two guards standing by the door and one Colonel who immediately came to attention as we entered. "Gentlemen. It seems I will be accepting the position after all. The facility has married quarters and a working infirmary, I trust?"

"We anticipated Miss Serebryakov's needs, Ma'am. You will find our medical facilities top-notch. Welcome aboard to XCOM Europe, Commander!"

Even as he was talking, I was already heading for the door, pushing Visha along. "Well then, let's not waste any more time. Pack up our things and bring it along after us, will you, Colonel?" I carefully hid my amusement at the way the Colonel twitched. Perhaps it was wrong to take out my lingering annoyance on the poor man, but if they wanted me as Commander, they could put up with all of me, crankiness and all. It had always been one of my regrets that I and Visha had wasted so many years dancing around each other worried what other people will think, and after we'd finally got together I'd made a private vow not to hide my feelings so much.

Leaving the Colonel behind to his newfound housekeeping duties, the guards escorted us out to the broad thoroughfare in front of my house - and the state-of-the-art supersonic VTOL parked there. The Skyranger was an example of what could be achieved when magic met materials engineering. A joint Germania/US project, it was a light transport with the speed of a modern fighter, range of an airliner, and vertical take-off/landing to boot. It also meant the governments funding the XCOM project weren't skimping on the funding and tech access.

As the bay doors closed and the jet took off a screaming roar, I was lost in thought. XCOM Europe was one of six regional HQs planned, and the second to be activated after XCOM North America. The others, all due to start operations in the next few months, would be in Asia, Africa, South America, and Australia.

It made sense, of course. A single centralized command would be useless against an enemy that can seemingly show up anywhere in the world. But it also meant I wouldn't just have to worry about the extra-terrestrials, but also about my fellow Commanders, competing as we all would be for a limited pool of resources. International cooperation is all well and good, but if this alien invasion got bad, you can bet all of them would be clawing to preserve their own fiefdoms, the rest of the world be damned.

And it would get that bad. I had a deep dark suspicion as to which force had arranged for the appearance of hostile aliens as one last attempt to force me to knuckle under to its whims. I had not prayed to Being X in over seventy years, not even when Visha was first diagnosed, and I was determined not to knuckle under now. If I had to genocide the first intelligent species that humanity had made contact with? Well, they shouldn't have allowed that fake god to manipulate them into causing a ruckus on my doorstep.


	16. Dragon of the Spring 3 (NarutoWorm)

_A\N: Commissioned by Weise_

_Disclaimer: I own neither Worm nor Naruto_

**Dragon of the Spring Ch. 3**

Hiruzen Sarutobi, third Hokage of Konoha, sighed as he tapped out his pipe. Around him the walls of his office shimmered with a barrier designed to isolate the interior from all forms of surveillance. It was honestly a thing of beauty, a product of the Second Hokage working in conjunction with masters from the now-defunct Uzumaki clan. Not only did it blur everything within, block chakra, and prevent all sound from leaving, but it also acted as a sensing array so no one could cheat it by sneaking inside before it activated. His rival Danzo learned that the hard way when it cost him one of his spies.

Such a barrier also prevented anyone inside from sensing anything without, and also prevented his own ANBU bodyguard from doing their jobs, which is why he didn't bother using it very often. The man standing in front of him right now, though, was one of the few people who could ask for the extra privacy, and receive it no questions asked. Kakashi Hatake had bought that privilege with over two decades of blood, sweat, tears, and heartbreaking sacrifice for Konoha. No matter how much of a shiftless slacker he had become in recent years, Hiruzen would always have time for him.

Even when he brought the aging Hokage a mystery hidden in an enigma wrapped up in a sizzling explosive tag.

"She's already back home?"

"She woke up on the way to the hospital. By the time we got there even the bruises had vanished. The medic declared her in perfect health. I had to buy her some fresh clothes on the way, though. Or strange questions might have been asked."

His brow furrowed in worry. Civilians might think a new bloodline was cause for celebration. They were wrong. While a new bloodline did present a significant boon to any shinobi village, they also presented a significant risk. Particularly when the bloodline holder was female.

A male bloodline holder could sow their oats and donate their sperm. They didn't even have to worry about child support, the village provided generous rewards for women willing to bear the child of endangered bloodlines. There was a reason poor Sasuke Uchiha found himself hounded by young women, and his good looks and talent were only a small part of it.

With a girl, however, the equation got a lot more complex. Until Sakura Haruno gave birth to a son, who in turn grew up to spread his seed, the whole project would have a single point of failure. A point of failure that would have to be guarded. Which meant it fell to Hiruzen to decide how best to guard that point of failure, and how many resources to commit to protecting it. And hope that their enemies were less committed to eliminating the threat.

He couldn't even order the Haruno girl away from active duty. From the sound of it, her bloodline was made for combat. And Konoha needed to know the full extent of that bloodline if they were to know the extent of the opportunity she represented - and the extent others would go to deny them.

And all this assumed the bloodline even bred true. The First Hokage's Wood Release was an infamous example of an ability which should have been inheritable, but had since proved decidedly otherwise.

"And young Sakura doesn't have any idea as to full extent of her ability?"

"She didn't even know she had an ability, beyond the ability to heal quickly from injuries. But since she's never received worse than bruises, no one really noticed." Kakashi tilted his head in thought. "I did notice she seemed to shrug off injuries faster as her body grew hotter. I think the regeneration, the anger, and the flames are all one package. She might not be able to show one without the others."

"And you're certain she doesn't have a seal of any kind on her?"

"First thing I checked. She's not a jinchuuriki."

Hiruzen nodded his acknowledgement. On the face of it, it was an absurd question. Every single tailed beast had been sealed, and the two tailed beast containers associated with fire were both active duty shinobi in service to Konoha's rivals. But both he and Kakashi had painful memories of a promising young kunoichi who had been turned into a living bomb by Konoha's enemies using a deliberately fault tailed beast sealing.

Hiruzen slowly refilled and lit his pipe. After puffing on it for a minute, he delivered his verdict. "We'll keep the team as it is. Pulling her will simply draw unnecessary attention." His eyes narrowed. "Train her Kakashi. Train her control. Even if she isn't one, much like a jinchuuriki, the greatest danger is she will lose control in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"What about Naruto? Should I give him similar training?"

"Mmm... no. Naruto knows of his burden, but has shown no signs of drawing on its power. His seal is still strong. Best let sleeping dogs lie."

"I take it I also have to tell Sakura to keep quiet about her abilities?"

"Do you think she can keep it secret?" It was a non-trivial question. With the current fad for lionizing bloodline holders, any new bloodline ability would be widely celebrated. Instant recognition and social advancement. Such would be tempting for a grown shinobi, let alone a daughter of civilians. Hiruzen mentally scoffed. The whole celebration of bloodlines had started in just the last few years, a propaganda campaign by his own office to try and keep alive not just the Uchiha, but a few other bloodlines that were close to extinction.

Kakashi had been considering the question. Finally, he replied, "I think she will, if I tell her to. From what little I've seen, she's a remarkably self-possessed young woman. Apart from a few people and things, there's very little that excites her. She'll keep quiet. The real trouble will be my other genin. I don't know how much they saw or heard."

"I'll leave it to your judgement on how to handle them."

The old man sighed again as the barrier fell and the jounin left. It wasn't just potential enemy action he had to worry about. Any clan in Konoha would be delighted to have a powerful new bloodline holder as a vassal. It had been a major struggle to prevent the Uchiha from being absorbed after the massacre left Sasuke alone, and that was with the fame of the Uchiha name acting as a barrier to acquisition. The Harunos might as well be meat in a pool of hungry sharks. Best for everyone involved that Sakura grow strong enough to make her own decisions before the other clans came calling.

* * *

Sakura found the days after her aborted genin test to be passing strange. Being told you possessed a powerful and hitherto unknown bloodline ability should have been a life changing event. Yet, after being admonished to keep it a secret, her life went back to being mostly mundane.

Yes, she was a genin now instead of an academy student, but that just meant a different kind of mundane. Sasuke was still a brooding loner who she had to resist punching out every time he looked at her with dismissive eyes. Naruto was still a hyperactive loudmouth who was way too stubborn for his own good. Neither of them treated her any differently, which implied neither of them had witnessed her little freak out during their test. Her days were still filled with training and chores (that called themselves D-rank missions) and in her free time she still hung out with Ino and complained about boys.

The differences, she supposed, lay in the details. For example, her personal training with Kakashi emphasized emotional control and keeping your composure under stress. This was honestly a bit hilarious. Didn't he realize that Sakura had been controlling her volcanic temper for as long as she could remember? She wondered if Kakashi spent his personal training time with Naruto teaching him how to be a prankster. Or maybe he was teaching Sasuke how to be an uncommunicative jerk?

She supposed Kakashi did have one point. Sakura needed to able to call upon her ability at will. If it had been a real fight, Kakashi would have had multiple opportunities to kill her before Sakura got strong enough to start shrugging off damage.

With Kakashi helping her, Sakura found she could in fact maintain a certain level of strength without first getting angry or getting into a fight. It was a bit like clenching a muscle, in that the strength would slip away if she stopped paying attention. But as long as she focused, she could maintain a temperature just shy of setting her clothes on fire. Which also left her strong and fast enough to keep up with most chunin, at least according to Kakashi.

Still, it quickly became clear that unless she chose to fight in the nude, her bloodline ability would quickly rack up the bills on replacement clothing. Not to mention the embarrassment of being naked in public when she eventually came down from cutting loose. That meant carrying multiple changes of clothing at all times. Which was a definite inconvenience for any shinobi, and finally prompted Kakashi to teach her something genuinely useful.

Storage scrolls! Sakura had known they existed, but never had she thought she would have the opportunity to make them, at least not so early in her career. All her life, whenever the topic of fuinjutsu had come, teachers in the academy would brush it off as being way too complicated and difficult. The students were taught how to use certain common seals, but nothing on how to make them.

Kakashi made them look easy. He claimed that he was only a dabbler in the art, but Sakura suspected that Kakashi's standards for 'dabbling' was a lot higher than most people. His instructions on how to create storage scrolls were clear, concise, and included guidelines for her to run her own controlled experiments so she could customize them to her specific needs. In particular, he helped her figure out how to make storage scrolls that were far more resistant to flame than mere paper and ink had any business being. The scrolls still wouldn't survive if she held on to them while going all out, but at least she wouldn't set them on fire by accident.

Even better, the storage scrolls were tangible proof that she was, in fact, learning something useful under her jounin-sensei. This was very useful for helping Ino corral her own team. The poor girl had done nothing but complain about her sensei, who apparently preferred to play shogi with her teammate Shikamaru than teach them new techniques. Now that Ino could point to Sakura as proof of what other sensei were doing, she could shame her sensei into getting off his ass and taking their training a bit more seriously. Sakura extracted a promise from Ino to keep her updated on how things went with Team 10.

Sakura didn't tell Ino, but she felt her own team 7 had its share of problems. On their team training and assignments, Sasuke and Naruto spent more time needling and arguing with each other than actually doing their jobs. It didn't matter how well Sakura did her part if the two idiots were too busy arguing to do theirs. And their sensei was absolutely no help, too busy giggling into his porn to discipline them. More and more, Sakura was beginning to wonder if this situation didn't call for a little bit of temper. To put into those fools the fear of exactly what would happen should they not shape up right damn quick. But she'd promised her sensei to keep her cool and her ability under wraps, and she did her best to meditate on the fire in her blood and ignore her team's antics.

Of course, those antics got kind of hard to ignore when, after yet another mundane chore rendered excessively complicated by the boys' inability to keep on task, Naruto's own frustration boiled over into a demand, right to the Hokage's face, that their team be assigned a higher ranking mission.

To her shock, instead of shutting the idiot down, the Hokage said yes! Even Naruto's attempt to beat up the very rude and drunk bridge builder was brushed off!

At this point, Sakura's own temper was getting harder to keep in check. It just didn't seem worth the effort when her own teammates got better results by doing the opposite. Yes, she knew the situations were not exactly equal. Her temper tantrums had the potential to be a lot more destructive than Naruto's. But Sakura was so damn tired of being the reasonable professional one, only to see her efforts be ignored.

Thus, as their team left for their very first C-rank mission, Sakura was running much hotter than usual.


	17. The Capitalist Hero (Youjo Senki MHA)

_A\N: Commissioned by Kole_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Youjo Senki or My Hero Academia_

**The Capitalist Hero**

I floated in the air and watched the yellow-winged creature, a so-called 'Nomu', fall from the sky. It trailed blood and viscera from the gaping hole in its torso from the explosive shot I'd put in its chest.

Ultimately, defeating it hadn't proved too difficult. I could fly faster and with greater agility, and I had a ranged weapon. As a fourteen-year-old I might not be permitted a true firearm, but U.A. High School's Support Department had really come through with my specially modified air rifle. Semi-auto fire accurate out to 250m and a fifty-shot magazine, it was quite the lethal weapon, and completely unregulated. Not as dangerous as the Mondragon I'd carried in my previous life, but adequate for the urban environment most Heroes operated in. I planned to buy one for my private use as soon as my first sponsorship deal went through.

Of course, the real damage was done by the explosive spell I placed on the pellets. Nomu were tough bastards, even a full-powered firearm might not have downed it otherwise. That was also why I spent a couple of minutes watching the creature's corpse to make sure it didn't get up again. Apparently, one of the other creatures attacking Hosu City had regeneration, and was proving a right pain to take down.

Once again, I wondered if I'd done the right thing signing up for U.A. High's Hero program. In this world, with a society so similar to that of my very first life, I could have easily used the mental advantage of being a reincarnate to aim for a cushy job in the civilian sector.

Unfortunately, I had not been born in this world by accident. Being X, dissatisfied that I had gone to my grave in my second life without once showing him true faith, had proven himself a sore loser and once more stuck me as an orphan baby in a new world. I retained all the magical powers I had possessed in my second life, only now they were my Quirk, and I could use them as innate abilities instead of relying on a computational orb. This was not a blessing but a curse, because with those powers came the knowledge that I could gain even greater power at any time. All I had to do was give in and pray with genuine faith to that wannabe deity.

That was not happening. But, judging by my past life, if I tried to keep my head down and live quietly, Being X would go out of his way to put me in danger. I needed to train my Quirk to maximum effectiveness, I needed to get other powerful Quirk users I could use as meat-shields, and the best way to achieve both goals was to become a pro Hero, and U.A. had the best program for such.

So here I was, hunting down Nomus, as was to be expected of a member of Class 1-A, U.A.'s elite Hero class.

I activated my radio. "This is Titania, Winged Nomu down. Where do I go next?"

As a final 'fuck you', instead of restoring me to a male body, Being X had kept me as a tiny blonde girl. At least a healthy diet meant I was now a magnificent 5'1" tall. And Titania was a bit more dignified than Tanya.

My mental grumbling came to a halt as I processed what I was hearing on the radio. Three of my fellow classmates had somehow gotten entangled with the Hero Killer Stain.

I of course knew about Stain. A noted serial killer who targeted Pro Heroes. I'd marked him as a threat I might face later in my career, but since he didn't go after children I'd thought myself safe from him for the moment.

Leaving my fellow students to die wasn't an option. When the world's greatest Hero was your homeroom teacher, there were certain standards one had to maintain if one wanted a glowing recommendation. Gritting my teeth, I poured on the speed.

A minute later, I'd located my foolish comrades. Fortunately, instead of butchering them, Stain had stopped to monologue.

I didn't pay too much attention to what he was saying at first. I was focused on sneaking close enough under an illusion to get the drop on him. Then the content of his speech penetrated, and I couldn't control my tongue. "HOW DARE YOU!"

Watching Stain and my fellow students jump in surprise might have been amusing at another time, but I was far too furious to care.

"I thought you were killing for heroes for some kind of sick thrill! Now I hear you're doing it for such a stupid reason! Because you, what, don't like Heroes getting _paid_?"

"Heroes who chase wealth instead of acting out of conviction are an insult to the name of-"

"SHUT UP! Heroes are people too, and just like people they are motivated by self-interest! Knights slay dragons for the hand of the princess, not for the fun of it! Jason sought the Golden Fleece to win for himself a kingdom! Musashi's sword earned him fortune and fame! And if I have to risk my life fighting vile criminals like you, I expect, no I DEMAND to be compensated for my work!"

I could feel the waves of his anger beating against my mental enhancement spells. "Girl," he growled, "You are lucky you are so young. I am truly tempted to end you here -"

"End me! Hah!" I flew thirty meters up and aimed my rifle. "You can't even touch me! You pathetic little COMMUNIST!"

Izuku was bleating something at me but I paid no attention, firing off an explosive spell.

Stain… he was _fast_. Even with my mental enhancement, I barely saw him move as he springboarded off the nearby buildings and launched himself at me, sword first. At that velocity, he might even have gotten through my mage shell.

If I had been where he was aiming at.

The illusory double popped like a soap bubble as he passed through, and it took every ounce of my own speed to reach out and grab him by the foot. But then he was dangling in the air with no leverage.

Credit to him, he instantly folded his body with no apparent effort to slash at me. So I tossed him up in the air, drew my pocket knife, and got to work.

In one of the little legal ironies, I could freely carry a lethal air rifle, but not a combat knife. Utility knives were fine though, and all I really needed was a strong edge to project a mage blade. Without a solid surface to leverage himself off of, all Stain could do was flail at me as I came at him.

My first slash removed his sword, along with several fingers. Then I got under him and kicked him into the air to give myself more time. Then I really got to work. Wrists, elbows, knees, hamstrings, achilles. All the parts that kept a body mobile, I cut and stabbed. It didn't matter how strong or fast he was if none of his muscles were connected to each other anymore. There was quite a bit of blood, but I'd taken first aid courses. I was confident I could keep him from bleeding out until the police got here. As he got near the ground, I drove him in with a knee to the chest and the satisfying crunch of breaking ribs.

As he coughed blood, I hopped off him and flicked the blood off my knife. "Take heart, Stain. When I'm a world famous Pro Hero with my own product line, I'll be sure to tell all the reporters, 'I wouldn't be here today if the words of the Hero Killer Stain hadn't motivated me to fight.' How's that for conviction?"

Glancing around, I spotted my fellow students staring at me. Well, not too surprising, even in the Sports Festival I hadn't needed to go all out to take the trophy. But then I noticed Tenya was looking pretty rough. Looks like Stain did a number on him. "Hold on there Tenya, I have some bandages -" I broke off as all three of them, even the injured one, scooted several feet back.

I immediately looked behind me, but no, Stain was still failing to crawl out of the hole I'd put him in. I turned around and scowled. "What is up with you lot now?!"


	18. Dragon of the Spring has it's own story!

Dragon of the Spring, the tale of a Sakura Haruno who can turn into a rage dragon, has been moved to it's own story. And chapter 4 is also out! Please check my profile for the link.


	19. Once More unto the Breach 2 (YS XCOM)

_A\N: Commissioned by __Jesus__. Also, for those who missed the earlier update, Dragon of the Spring has its own story now._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Youjo Senki or XCOM._

**Once More unto the Breach Ch. 2**

I sat in the darkened room, watching the recordings of one of XCOM Europe's first confirmed contacts with extraterrestrial life. As the XCOM trooper on the screen reached out to disarm a seemingly catatonic police officer, I couldn't help but wince. I hit the pause button right in the moment where the seemingly unaware police officer dropped a live grenade at his feet.

I knew what happened next. The XCOM trooper would try to dive for cover, but the police officer would take the opportunity to unload his shotgun into the soldier, completely ignoring the grenade at his feet. The grenade would take out the officer, but not before the point blank blasts had shredded the trooper's torso.

That would be the beginning of a charlie foxtrot that would see the XCOM platoon sustain over seventy percent casualties. Only ten troopers would come back from a platoon of thirty-six, and that too only because a sergeant managed to rally the survivors and conduct a fighting retreat.

The only upside to this entire fiasco would be the handful of alien corpses the troops were able to haul back for analysis - and confirmed video evidence that these aliens could, in fact, control human minds with a terrifying amount of precision. In this case, the mind-controlled officer had lured the XCOM platoon into an ambush using a fake distress call before launching the suicide attack that distracted the platoon at the critical moment.

Honestly, it was lucky I had joined after this fiasco. The last thing I needed was to start my stint as Commander with an embarrassment like this on my record. While I no longer cared about getting promoted, having a good mission record would help immensely in the inevitable political jockeying that my position entailed.

A different trooper's bodycam had picked up the sight of the alien controller hiding behind the compromised officer. The only hint we had that there was mind control involved was the faint purple glow that had appeared in the officer's eyes, that pulsed in time to the glowing veins on the creature's overlarge skull.

The creature was the classic little grey man, with no mouth but large red eyes and the aforementioned skull. The skull had a delicate purple and red shading that had analysts convinced that it was some sort of superior breed. The ambush had contained almost thirty of the little buggers, but none of the others had that distinct coloring, although all of them showed an ability to mess with people's heads, spreading panic and hallucinations among their unfortunate victims. There had also been half a dozen armored green 7-foot-tall behemoths that had possessed no visible abilities beyond brute strength and devastating accuracy with their very powerful weapons.

The alien weapons were another source of tension. Concentrated plasma fired at supersonic speeds, their handheld weapons could penetrate the rear armor of a main battle tank. Thankfully, their range and precision seemed only slightly better than modern assault rifles, but that was cold comfort at best. Even mage shells were an uncertain defense. They could only stop a few projectiles before cracking, and even when they did, radiant heat from the plasma could cause third-degree burns.

Visha was sitting next to me, going over the recordings containing the various aliens already identified. The analysts had already been through them in detail, but some of the important bits were worth studying in person. I, for example, was focusing on what had happened in the lead-up to the ambush.

Watching the frozen image of the trooper, I couldn't help but shake my head. Illustrated right there on screen was one of the first problems facing XCOM Europe - the insane variety in training standards and competences. Being an international paramilitary organization, we had troops from at least a dozen different countries and ten times as many organizations. Everything from Albion's Special Boat Service to the Zurich City Police Department.

The results were obvious. In the above action, the officer in charge had come from a police background, and instead of scouting the terrain and securing his flanks, he'd focused on trying to save lives. He'd ordered a trooper to approach and disarm an armed unknown simply because the man had been in a police uniform and had been standing still.

The trooper in question - well, it was clear he didn't have the first clue as to how to go about safely disarming and detaining someone. Not surprising, as his record showed that he'd been a Germanian infantryman before coming to XCOM, with no experience in anything approaching a police action.

I started playing the video, and watched as further cracks developed in the platoon's coordination as the very first wave of enemy fire killed the lieutenant in charge. In the end, seven out of ten survivors, including the sergeant who took command, were OZEV soldiers. The various countries of OZEV had enough commonality in training standards to be able to work together on short notice, and that had paid off here. Amusing, that a policy I'd promulgated 75 years ago to face Communist Russy would now save lives when facing aliens from outer space.

Given a choice, I'd put together platoons purely from one country's elite forces. Naturally, I would prefer Germania, but some of the others also had some operatives worth the name. XCOM Europe wasn't so large that one major power couldn't supply all the combat troops.

Unfortunately, politics made that impossible. XCOM Europe's jurisdiction spread to every country in Europe, large and small, and these polities weren't about to let any organizations' forces into their territory if they couldn't get a say-so in that organization's staffing. If we wanted cooperation, then we had to evenly spread out our employees across the board. That way everyone got to keep an eye on XCOM and make sure we weren't about to compromise their precious sovereignty.

My next thought was to create XCOM platoons that came from one country's forces. Each standard platoon had thirty-six troops, to match the Skyranger's carrying capacity. Making sure each block of thirty-six came from the same country, or even the same organization, ought to be doable.

But even that had its pitfalls. It was almost certain that I would inevitably have to deploy these platoons to countries other than their home territories. And this is where Europe's diversity worked against me. There were dozens of territories with their own official language. Even their second language, if they had one, could be any one of four - Albish, Frankish, Germanian or Russy. If each mission didn't include at least a few natives, even something as rudimentary as street signs and witness statements would be beyond their ability.

A more long-term objection would be the inevitable cliques that would form if I started clubbing soldiers together exclusively by country. If these invaders had done even a modicum of scouting, then they would inevitably target the myriad fault lines dividing human society. It was their best strategy for crippling any response, and I didn't need to do their work for them by segregating my soldiers along nationalist lines.

Besides, the last thing we needed was the sight of an all-Germanian combat team marching through the streets of Parisee. Over seventy years, and the Francois were still salty about my little tank ride. Talk about sore losers.

No, the best option was to follow the initial plan and train the various troops into one unified fighting force. Unfortunately, that took time that I suspected our enemies were not going to give us. There were, however, a few immediate changes I could make that ought to tighten up combat efficiency.

For starters, the policy of handing out officer slots based on seniority had to go. This was not a bureaucracy or a peacetime army. We were on the bleeding edge of a new era of combat. Competence and experience had to be the only criteria. That meant first pick would go to the decorated combat veterans. Even though there had been no major wars in decades, there had been enough small skirmishes and counter-insurgency operations to create a solid core of experienced officers. If the senior officers with the wrong kind of experience didn't like it, tough.

Second, every trooper had to meet certain basic training standards before they would be permitted out in the field. Here, time constraints would prevent the kind of holistic training most elite units went through, but they had to at least learn the same basic playbook. And of course, they would also have to meet minimum physical and skill requirements. This would be a bit easier - in spite of their less than stellar debut, all the troops had been selected for their excellent fitness and performance reviews.

And finally, there was the question of mages. While there were plenty of mages scattered among the support staff, there were almost none among the combat troops. The idea seemed to be, if XCOM needed combat mage support, we would call in the local mages of whichever country we happened to be in at the time.

I scoffed. I knew the real reason. Even with the accelerating advancement of technology, there existed few combat platforms as agile and versatile as the combat mage. Jet fighters might have ended their dominance of the open skies, but they were still unmatched in any terrain that provided sufficient cover. Combined with their limited numbers that no amount of eugenics attempts had alleviated, and no country would be willing to let them go, especially when faced with a possible alien invasion.

Well, that couldn't stand. Given the technical superiority of our enemy, XCOM needed dedicated combat mages to support our regular troops. Especially since, as the analysts noted, it might be possible for mages to better resist the alien's psychic influence. This had obviously not been tested, but since the use of their psychic abilities seemed to show up on magic detectors, the possibility had to be explored.

Fortunately, I still had friends in very high places, and a lot of favors saved up for a rainy day. I felt certain I could shake loose a company or two of Germania's Combat Mages. And once word got around that Germania was loaning combat mages to XCOM, the other major European powers would hopefully jump in if only to save face.

That was all I could do about staffing issues for now. The next item on my list was our combat gear. The Skyrangers were nice, and the equipment were all at the best of OZEV standard (which, all modesty aside, I believed was among the best in the world), but I felt we could do better. XCOM, after all, was envisioned as a small elite paramilitary organization. Our equipment ought to reflect this.

I had some ideas. There were several interesting technologies, particularly in the field of combat drones and robotics, that were currently in their testing phase in various militaries. I would have to put out some feelers. But before that, I would have to see what XCOM's R&D was capable of on its own.

I leaned over and gave Visha a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm going down to the labs. Want to come with?"

She smiled and shook her head. "You go. There's a few more files I want to see."

"Well, don't stay up too late."

"I can sleep when I'm dead," she snarked.

It wasn't funny at all, but we both laughed anyway. Forcing my mind to stop thinking about Visha's illness, I instead focused on what lay ahead. I had a couple of doctors to talk to.


End file.
